If you thought your parents were bad (and they are horrible), then you'll feel a little better after you review this list of bad movie parents. Unless your parents abused you physically or sexually. If that's the case, it's unlikely that anything on this website will make you feel good after suffering that horrible ordeal. But everyone else is golden.

While there are no shortage of mean parents portrayed in film, this list focuses on those that are woefully ignorant or oblivious to the point of being negligent. These well-meaning, but unfit parents are just as guilty as those who beat or scream at their children.

Yes, that means you, Rick Moranis.

7. Juno and Paulie – Juno

I understand that it’s not commonplace to remove a baby from the custody of its parents before they’ve actually done something wrong, but this baby needs to be saved as soon as possible. Could you imagine how damaged a child raised by Juno and Michael Cera would be? It would be unable to function in society. Juno would probably feed it “ironic baby formula,” while Cera mumbles under his breath, “I don’t know if that’s the right way to feed a child.”

Imagine the baby is in elementary school. An intruder breaks into the house, but the child isn’t able to call 911 because the phone is a goddamned hamburger. Phones should be phones. Hamburgers should be food. You can’t endanger your child in the name of quirk. That’s in the constitution. Look it up.

6. Jim’s Dad – American Pie

My only decent parallel here in Dexter and his dad. Dexter’s dad saw that his son was on an unmistakable path to become a serial killer, and he acted for the good of his son and society at large.

Jim’s Dad (Eugene Levy) comes home to witness his son fucking a pie, and doesn’t act. Sure he has an uncomfortable conversation about dirty magazines, but he fails to set parameters for Jim’s sickness. Today it’s pies, and tomorrow it’s German Shepherd, then next week it’s the Andrews boy down the block. It’s disgusting.

5. The Goonies’ Parents

Uh, where were they? Their houses are set to be razed by Troy’s dad (TROY!) to build a golf course, but they’re nowhere to be found. Rather they leave it to their impish sons and daughters to navigate a pirate obstacle course. Sure, Mikey’s mom is around long enough to delegate here child-rearing duties to the maid, but she doesn’t even speak Spanish, so she relies on Mouth. So essentially, she’s tasks the kids with instructing the maid on how to look after the kids. Not good parenting.

Further, the parents should have acted together and formed a committee to seal off that well, or at least put a fence or signs around it. That’s a hazard. Plus the film took place around the time Baby Jessica fell down a well. They should have known better.

(Complete aside: Did it bother anyone else that the Goonies save their houses at the end of the film, but they end up doing it by giving Troy’s dad (TROY!) a shit-ton of diamonds and rubies? Doesn’t exactly seem like that bastard got his comeuppance.)

4. Daniel LaRusso’s Mom – The Karate Kid

Sure, she’s oblivious to the bullying, but that’s not the real crime here. The real crime is turning a blind eye to her son’s constant visits to a septuagenarian Asian man who wants to teach him karate and gardening. Also, the fact that this man gave him a damn car for his 16th birthday didn’t raise a red flag? That’s a pretty major gift to give a kid you’re not banging out.

At the very least, the relationship is totally platonic, but he is still ostracized from his classmates for being the biggest weirdo in Reseda.

For a good time, think about Chris Hansen confronting Mr. Miyagi on To Catch a Predator. Pretty awesome, no?

3. Donnie Darko’s Parents

Well, your kid is either an actual time-traveler that foresees his own death (or something. I gave up trying to understand this film a long time ago.) or he’s a crazy person who thinks he’s a time-traveler who can foresee his own death. Either way, you might want to spend a little more time getting to know what makes this weirdo tick.

Also, while not technically, illegal, I think naming your child “Donnie Darko” is just asking for trouble. Someone with that name could never be an executive at Ford Motors or 3M. He should be a ward of the state.

2. The Home Alone Parents

“Oh, we just flew to Paris without our son. Where WERE our minds?”

The movie really glosses over how big a deal this is. These are very wealthy parents. If they’re not fit to keep track of their 73 children, they should at least have the common sense to hire a nanny. Their sin would be pride. Don’t be heroes, Mr. and Mrs. McAllister. Parenting can be tough, but feeling contrite while your son wages war with criminals that want to kill him isn’t enough.

Either that, or learn how to count to nine when you’re doing inventory on your children.

1. Wayne Szalinski – Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

This is a big one. If you’re going to invent a shrinking device, I think that’s great, but you should probably treat it like you would a pistol or rifle. Keep it locked up and out of reach at all times. And if you INSIST on keeping it out, install some sort of fail-safe switch that prevents it from being activated by an errant baseball.

Sure, there wasn’t malice behind Szalinski’s actions, but there was plenty of negligence. Take Szalinski’s kids away from him and let them stay with his brother Ray, the auto parts king in Chicago, who spells his last name differently for marketing purposes.