7 Movie Parents Who Should Lose Their Kids To Child Services

Wednesday, September 28 by
This man should be thrown in jail. 

If you thought your parents were bad (and they are horrible), then you’ll feel a little better after you review this list of bad movie parents. Unless your parents abused you physically or sexually. If that’s the case, it’s unlikely that anything on this website will make you feel good after suffering that horrible ordeal. But everyone else is golden.

While there are no shortage of mean parents portrayed in film, this list focuses on those that are woefully ignorant or oblivious to the point of being negligent. These well-meaning, but unfit parents are just as guilty as those who beat or scream at their children.

Yes, that means you, Rick Moranis.

7. Juno and Paulie – Juno

I understand that it’s not commonplace to remove a baby from the custody of its parents before they’ve actually done something wrong, but this baby needs to be saved as soon as possible. Could you imagine how damaged a child raised by Juno and Michael Cera would be? It would be unable to function in society. Juno would probably feed it “ironic baby formula,” while Cera mumbles under his breath, “I don’t know if that’s the right way to feed a child.”

Imagine the baby is in elementary school. An intruder breaks into the house, but the child isn’t able to call 911 because the phone is a goddamned hamburger. Phones should be phones. Hamburgers should be food. You can’t endanger your child in the name of quirk. That’s in the constitution. Look it up.

6. Jim’s Dad – American Pie

My only decent parallel here in Dexter and his dad. Dexter’s dad saw that his son was on an unmistakable path to become a serial killer, and he acted for the good of his son and society at large.

Jim’s Dad (Eugene Levy) comes home to witness his son fucking a pie, and doesn’t act. Sure he has an uncomfortable conversation about dirty magazines, but he fails to set parameters for Jim’s sickness. Today it’s pies, and tomorrow it’s German Shepherd, then next week it’s the Andrews boy down the block. It’s disgusting.

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