7 Movie Horses We Want To Slaughter, Then Eat

Tuesday, December 6 by

Buttercup – Half Baked

At first, I was a little concerned because the horse has been dead for almost 15 years, and because the horse was a diabetic. In fact, the horse died 15 years ago BECAUSE it was a diabetic. So, if I could get the horse’s rotting corpse inspected by a medical examiner who could confirm that there weren’t any medical complications stemming from the diabetes that would taint the 15 year-old meat, then I would certainly not let it go to waste.

I know they eat fermented horse in Iceland, and the Dothraki from Game of Thrones really seem to enjoy horse jerky, so I think that I’d be just fine if the horse is maybe less-than-fresh.

“I love Butternuts!”

Arizona Pie – International Velvet

It stands to reason that, if I’m going to eat a horse named “The Pie,” I’m also eager to eat that horse’s children. With that said, I’m going to eat the hell out of Arizona Pie, offspring of The Pie from National Velvet. Yum.

I also am quick to eat Arizona Pie because International Velvet was one of those sequels like Return to Oz that had no business being made. Was the horse featured in International Velvet responsible for any of the creative decisions that made it such a stinker? I don’t know. But I will eat it anyway, just to be safe.

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