7 Movie Baseball Players Less Clutch Than A-Rod

Thursday, September 29 by

2. Henry Rowengartner – Rookie of the Year

He had some dumb tendon injury that allowed him to throw much harder than a 12 year-old can normally throw. First off, I know the kid looks young, but he doesn’t look like he’s 12. If his birth certificate is from the Dominican Republic, I’m calling bullshit. Henry’s at least 15.

That aside, 12 or 15, the kid doesn’t have the constitution or experience to hang tight in the clutch. He’s got a wicked fastball, but I would be laying down bunts to him all day long. He’s got one mechanic – overhand fastball. There’s no way he’s charging a dribbler and firing it to first. It would end up in the dugout. Further, I would be showing steal all game long with big leadoffs. The kid has no discipline, which means he’s going to be balking all day long, advancing runners.

He’s got one tool, and that’s not enough.

1. Domo Dominguez – Summer Catch

Wilmer Valderrama, despite his Latinamerican heritage, is not an intimidating baseball player. So it stands to reason that his character is not an intimidating player. Not that anyone in Summer Catch is intimidating. Except for Matthew Lillard. He’s got crazy eyes. I’m guessing the only thing that really keeps him in the hunt is “intangibles,” which is also probably how he managed to date Lindsay Lohan for so long.

You would think that someone named “Wilmer Valderrama” playing someone named “Domo Dominguez” would inspire a lot of confidence, but no. It’s just one of the many ways Valderrama has found to keep letting audiences down.

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