Your parents/J. Edgar Hoover used to tell you that crime doesn’t pay. What they left out was this: Crime doesn’t pay if you’re an idiot.
In honor of that valuable lesson, (and with 30 Minutes or Less coming out on DVD/Blu-ray) I’m here to show you seven of the most inept duos in cinema history. Enjoy.
These two screwups (to put it mildly), played by Danny McBride and a startlingly brilliant Nick Swardson, have what seems like a good plan: Strap a time bomb to a pizza delivery guy and force him to rob a bank and hand the cash over to them. Wait, on second thought, that seems like a terrible idea. Anyway, their basic idiocy and lack of experience in criminal matters doesn’t help things. It takes more than dynamite to achieve one’s humble dream of opening a tanning salon/brothel.
Like a lot of dumb criminals, Jasper and Horace aren’t bad dudes, really. But they’re working for one of the most evil villains of all time: Cruella DeVil. They basically follow the Laurel and Hardy template of “tall dumb guy, short, slightly-less dumb guy.” Funny thing: Horace (the short one) often correctly guesses what the Dalmatians are up to, maybe because he shares some kind of animal savant quality with them. Nobody ever listens to Horace though, and thank God for that – unless you’re a Dalmatian fur enthusiast.