7 Monster Hunter Movies Every Man Should Watch
There is no more guilt free way to kill than when you get to go after creatures that civilized society doesn’t believe in and hence can’t charge you with any crime. Bathe in garlic bath salts, sharpen that wooden stake you put in your boot in Patrick Swayze’s honor and tense up your brawling muscles as you tackle seven monster hunter movies every man should watch.
The dysfunctional family that squabbles together can still pull enough love out of their hearts to go hunt a monster together in “The Host”. With a focus on getting back the youngest member of the family, this group tracks and hunts one mutant amphibian into the sewers with no regard for their own safety. The zeal the grandfather shows as they turn the tables on the monster after his attack on their snack shop is mirrored perfectly by the tranquility he shows as his death approaches during their attack by the bridge.
“The Monster Squad”.
A group of misfits go against a literal who’s who of movie monsters as they seek to protect a special amulet passed down from the legendary monster hunter Van Helsing in "The Monster Squad". It’s funny, smart and breaks only the conventions it needs to while staying true to the monster movie genre. In one of the best monster hunter tricks of the trade, the exploration of force against werewolf genitalia is shown as a valid fighting move in easily the best action scenes ever.
It’s up to you if you want your descendants to have to hang their heads in shame at their xenophobic grandparent all because you thought that the humans in “Predator” were the true monster hunters. Open that mind, the same mind that those pesky facehuggers would’ve been made into alien junk food if the Predator hadn’t bothered blow up later in another film. You have to respect this monster hunter movie as even with his dying breath the Predator still tries to kill the American capitalist pig dog soldier Dutch and free the rainforest from this monster.
“Brotherhood of the Wolf”.
A mysterious beast, plenty of conspiracies and a seething tension between the classes make for an excellent monster hunter movie. “Brotherhood of the Wolf” builds fear and superstition into its own monster as science seeks to dismiss the mythology and protect the people all while intrigue runs rampant from character to character. Fronsac’s killing of Francois, played by the ever impressive Vincet Cassel, is a rage filled scene that shows that the true monster was on two and not four feet.
Some might argue that man is the most dangerous prey to hunt but in the case of “Rare Exports” it’s not the man but the myth that gets hunted. The old school like Grimm’s Fairy Tales before Disney sanded the bloody edges off type of Santa Claus gets freed from his prison and goes on a rampage that’s more naughty than nice. Pietari’s stapling of his advent calendar shows that his bravery can still be influenced by his childish solutions to the monster problem.
Any monster movie that can affect the way you feel about storm drains for the rest of your life is one heck of a movie. A gang of friends aim to finish what they started when they were kids as they go after their childhood tormentor It. Watch them leash their fear and confront the giant demonic spider with nothing more than a slingshot, an inhaler and that most potent weapon of any monster hunter: courage.
All men and so inclined women should watch “Dylan Dog” as it is an incredible cautionary tale of how the monster hunter movie can suck the audience dry of life. The whole no man should cry but at funerals and occasionally the death of heroes is lifted with this flick as there isn’t a single character, hero or villain, you will care enough about to even fake paying attention. The undead support group meeting with Marcus is about the only interesting glimmer in a flick that makes you want to fall on your crossbow, garlic loaded shotgun or pointy stick.