7 Kinds Of Nerds You Will See At A Midnight Movie
Midnight movies are a risky proposition. Sure, you get to see a cool movie before anyone else does (or a cult favorite or classic on the big screen with an enthused audience), but you might run into parking trouble, you have to stay up late, all the bars will be closed by the time you get out, etc. And then there are your fellow audience members: The seven kinds of nerds you often encounter at midnight movies. So here's a helpful guide to just those nerds; Good luck!
The Scholar This is the dude that's not in this for fun, or to make friends. He's a serious student of cinema, and you can tell by his bulky clothing, lack of concern about his appearance, a proclivity for taking notes, and sometimes a disproportionately hot girlfriend. But don't be intimidated by his seriousness—if you strike up a conversation with him, you're likely to learn all kinds of interesting tidbits about the movie you're about to watch, and every other movie with the same director of photography.
The Fanboy This guy is distinguished most easily by his clothing, which matches the movie being shown in some way. That could range from a "Batman" T-shirt at a "Batman" movie to being dressed as Batman—cape, cowl, fully-functioning utility belt, you name it. And unlike the more reasonable Scholar, The Fanboy has probably already formed a concrete opinion about the movie, especially if he hasn't seen it yet.
The Comedian This guy's at the opposite end of the spectrum from The Fanboy and The Scholar in that he steadfastly and uniformly refuses to take anything before him seriously. Additionally, he's only there to sharpen his verbal wit, which he will demonstrate by shouting wisecracks at the screen. It's really annoying and the only redeeming factor of The Comedian is that he's actually funny, unlike:
The Clown This guy basically wants to be The Comedian - he wants to be funny and have lots of people thinking the same. The trouble is, instead of being clever, he's just an idiot. Nine times out of ten he will have a laser pointer in his pocket, but you'll never see it used as soon as management says anything (AKA when it would actually be funny). He'll also probably shout something at the screen, but his jokes will be met with complete silence. Kind of satisfying to hear, actually.
The Inspector With a seriousness worthy of The Scholar, the only thing The Inspector cares about is the quality of the image and sound being projected. You're lucky if you have this guy in the audience, because if there's even a hint of blurriness on the screen, he'll be sure to complain to the projectionist about it. So you're guaranteed to have a good show!
The Anthropologist You might wonder what this nerd is even doing there, since he doesn't seem particularly interested in the movie. Instead, he appears to be more interested in the people around him, checking them out and filing them into his own categories. What a weirdo!
The Lothario It might seem like an unusual place for it, but this guy is pretty much here for the ladies. And if there are any ladies in attendance that weren't dragged there by their boyfriends, you can be sure he'll bother them for their numbers. Lotharios are especially common at midnight movies frequented by single ladies - "Harry Potter," "Twilight," etc.
You So you go to a midnight movie. You're checking out all the other nerds, and then your eyes catch a glimpse of your reflection in a mirror. You're one of the nerds! Anyone who would go through the hassle of a midnight movie has got at least a little bit of nerd in them, so it stands to reason that you fall into that category as well. So, enjoy the like-minded company!