When Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning heads to Blu-rayTM and DVD on January 22nd, we’ll all get the chance to see what the hype is about. Praise for the film has been pretty ample online. It is regarded as the best in the series and according to some, “better than Skyfall.” That probably means that Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren‘s characters will go down in film history as some of the greatest cyborgs to grace the screen. Until that day, we still have these greats!
A policeman struck down in the line of duty gained a new lease on life when Omni Consumer Products used him as the subject of their RoboCop initiative. Updating the slain Officer Murphy with super-strength, superior understanding of the law, and a huge gun he holstered in his leg, the criminals of Detroit fell at the hands of a man that got his nutrients from baby food.
In Blade Runner, Daryl Hannah plays Pris, a replicant who was built as a “basic pleasure model,” which basically means she is a robot prostitute. She’s set at an “A Physical” level, which gives her a high threshold for pain and makes her a pretty impressive gymnast. The combination of the hair, makeup, and flexibility is responsible for many a 1980′s nerd not leaving their bedrooms on sunny days.
When the forces of evil conspire to throw the world into a state of peril, it takes a true hero to act on the part of justice. Sometimes, that hero is a bumbling boob who can pull a bowling ball out of his aluminum butt. Inspector Gadget was once a lowly security guard with dreams of a true and just world. After an injury in the line of duty, he is rebuilt with roller skates, a helicopter, and several other doodads. Take that, evil!
After sustaining severe injuries in a rocket crash, astronaut Steve Austin is rebuilt to become The Six Million Dollar Man. His right arm, both legs, and left eye are replaced with expensive (at the time) bionic implants. These give him enhanced strength, speed, and vision. It also makes getting through airport security a real bitch. But whatever. He’s Lee Frickin’ Majors. If anyone can charm his way through the TSA, it’s him. Plus he fought Bigfoot. How cool is that?
The best science-fiction series in television history had a lot going for it. But most of what it had going for it was Tricia Helfer’s portrayal of a cybernetic sexbot. While viewers were eventually drawn in by the gut-wrenching plot turns and mystery elements, it was Helfer in a red dress that lured in early eyes.
Of all the cyborgs on this list, Ash Williams has the craziest origin. Once a man simply looking for a nice weekend in the woods, Ash was attacked by demons, forced to chop off his possessed hand with a chainsaw, sent back in time to the Dark Ages where he adorned his stump with both a chainsaw and a kung fu grip gauntlet which he used to defeat an army of the undead. Let’s see RoboCop do that! No, seriously. I think that would make for a great Robocop movie. Let’s please see RoboCop do that.
It’s no surprise that the biggest badass in our galaxy as well as those far, far away tops this list. Not only is he immensely strong, fast, and good with a sword but he’s also a pimp when it comes to magic. It’s no wonder he was able to crush so many planets before the Rebel Alliance finally sacked up and stood up to him. It should be noted though that he didn’t technically lose that fight. He only lost because he chose to lose.