7 Films That Didn’t Need A Re-Release

Wednesday, February 15 by

Titanic 3D

Here we go again. There’s no defense for this. It’s pretty blatant what the line of thinking was. Titanic = money. 3D = more money. Line forms to the left and don’t forget to super-size your snack order to receive a commemorative Titanic 3D cup you’ll never use again.

E.T.

E.T.‘s 20th Anniversary re-release turned out to be a bit of a disaster. It flopped at the box office and drew criticism for the additional and changed material added to the film. For instance, seeing a CG E.T. running through the woods was just a little too creepy and didn’t mix well with the practical puppet. And the decision to replace the government agents’ guns with walkie-talkies in light of 9/11 was pretty ridiculous. No one should ever worry that awesome rifles are going to scare children. If they didn’t want to scar youngsters, they should have removed the scene where E.T. FUCKING DIES.

Donnie Darko

A few years after its initial theatrical run, Donnie Darko was re-released to theaters with new music and twenty extra minutes of footage. Richard Kelly always felt the story was compromised by coming in under two hours. Problem being, does Donnie Darko hold up as a film? Wasn’t everyone kind of sick of it by 2004? We all had Napoleon Dynamite to rave about incessantly by that point.

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