7 Cities The Porn Industry Could Move To If It Leaves Los Angeles

Thursday, February 23 by
 

The Los Angeles city council has passed a law, to be enacted on March 5th, that all adult film actors must wear a condom while performing scenes within the LA city limits. The ruling came out of concerns for the health and safety of the actors involved, as well as a desire to not promote unsafe sex to the masses.

As the deadline nears, production companies are considering emigrating from Los Angeles to locales that don’t have such restrictions in place. Though it’s unlikely that the industry will emigrate en masse, there are many cities that would be both viable and desirable for porn film production. Many aren’t intuitive, but behind each location listed are some unique aspects that many may find to be more desirable than Los Angeles (which includes the valley districts of Chatsworth, Canoga Park, and many others).

El Paso

El Paso seems like an odd choice for to house the porn industry, but it serves a niche purpose. A study done in 2004 found the Texas border town to be the sweatiest city in the United States. With an average summer temperature of 93 degrees and relative humidity of 70%, El Paso is a sauna all right. El Paso City Council has been trying to repudiate the claim, as would most cities, but why not turn a problem into an opportunity, as everyone (I think) loves good, sweaty sex.

Think about the marketing. “_________ (film name) offers the kind of sweaty lovemaking that only El Paso can provided. Sure, other films offer sweaty sex, but shooting in El Paso means that we couldn’t get any sweatier if we tried.”

This goes hand-in-hand with an idea I had for Bikram pornography, but I really don’t feel comfortable talking about that until the patent office gets back to me.

Portland

Portlandia has become a cult hit as it observes, reports, and ridicules the idiosyncrasies of this one-of-a-kind town, so why not demonstrate to what end those quirks exist? We’re over schoolgirls, exercise instructors, and cheerleaders. Give us baristas, underemployed DJs, and bicycle messengers. I’m getting worked up just thinking about it!

I would like to see fetish films about fair-trade sex and environmentally responsible gangbangs. In fact, I’m going to demand it. I hear the quality of life is amazing in Portland, so I’m sure that the talent would be thrilled to move there.

Also, Voodoo Donuts is amazing.

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