7 Characters Who Are More Engineered Than A Kardashian’s Marriage

Tuesday, November 1 by
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When Kim Kardashian announced her engagement to Kris Humphries, we immediately thought it was a publicity stunt. Meanwhile, the dumb girls in my office were proclaiming how happy they were for her, and how they felt that one of their closest friends was getting married. The E! Network saw the profit to be gained and paid Kardashian $17 milllion to air the wedding as a special. As soon as the check cleared, the couple announced they would divorce. This is the most blatant publicity stunt to ever publicity stunt, and a new low for Kim Kardashain who has lived a contrived, manufactured existence ever since she entered the public eye.

In fact, there are few individuals more manufactured than the Kardashian brand, and they’re all fictional. Here they are.

RoboCop – RoboCop

Left for dead by a gang of malicious thugs, Officer Murphy was saved by the cybernetic technology that makes up his body. He’s like 90% robot (despite what the film’s tagline would have you believe), but still longs for the domestic life he was forced to give up. Take a page out of RoboCop‘s book, Kim. He’d kill to have his wife back and here you are queefing all over the sanctity of marriage.

Captain America – Captain America

Born an underweight weakling, Steve Rodgers submitted to a top secret super soldier program that transformed him into the star spangled avenger, Captain America. He must feel foolish after all of the testing and procedures. Turns out he could have raised his profile easily with a leaked sex tape.

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