Sadly, this doesn’t exist on stage in real, stupid non-animated life. But if it did, it would make going to elementary school musicals a lot more bearable. You can only see a poorly-rendered version of A Christmas Carol so many times.
Everyday, I curse the fact that this does not exist in long form. Featured briefly in the “A Fish Called Selma” episode of The Simpsons, The Planet of the Apes Musical stars actor Troy McClure, a human caught in the paws of the damned singing and dancing dirty apes. It was such a hit in the writer’s room that the scenes were expanded to include the song “Dr. Zaius,” originally planned to be “Rock Me, Dr. Zaius.” It’s genius.
I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z. No, you’ll never make a monkey out of me! Oh my god, I was wrong. It was Earth all along. You finally made a monkey. Yes, we finally made a monkey. Yes, you finally made a monkey out of me! I love you Dr. Zaius!