A love of tea and etiquette does not make an entire population boring, but instead hides some seriously fun cinema from those too lazy to look a bit deeper into the offerings. With violence, testosterone waterfalls and beautifully perverted charisma these are 6 sexy British movies that show the English do have a wild side and are not afraid to bare it to the audience.


“Sexy Beast”.

The more mature form of British criminals gets their day in the sun as the testosterone and violence soar. “Sexy Beast” features a vivacious Ben Kingsley who radiates that special kind of sexy evil that only heavily accented criminals seem to be able to carry off with aplomb. Kingsley’s flip between aggressive bastard and manipulative thinker during his airport interrogation is something gorgeously wrong to enjoy over and over again.


With an L.D. 50 amount of muscles, testosterone and accented voices, “Snatch” streamlines the thriller genre by fracturing the story with a sledgehammer only to deftly connect all the facets back together into one seamless unified flick that waxes, trims and deep tissue massages the well worn diamond heist plot into a new, sexier British version. Vinnie Jones little tete a tete with the unprofessional burglars at the pub is nothing but the threat of violence turned into solid sexy action British style.


Sherlock Holmes.

The Victorian era gets the olfactory fatigue treatment in “Sherlock Holmes”, which is a smart and necessary move as no one, apart from a hardcore steampunk fetishist, would want to watch a film that pays proper homage to terrible sewage issues as well as the shadiest of personal hygiene practices. With enough beauty on the X and Y chromosomes to make sure the intelligence and reasoning in “Sherlock Holmes” stays visually appealing, the story holds on to its British sensibilities and still manages to fit into some tight story telling clothing. Watch as the world’s greatest detective relaxes with some old fashioned bare-knuckled brawling complete with internal monologue.

“The Return of the Pink Panther”.

With the kind of powerful magic you’d expect to require some serious sacrifices of the bloody variety, “The Return of the Pink Panther” makes the seventies a sexy place that doesn’t vaguely smell of patchouli or unwashed vegan feet. Inspector Clouseau stays true to form as the klutzy, naive law man but does manage to drop some hilarious pickup lines as well as pull off a red velvet suit that was hopefully put on a pyre immediately after the shoot wrapped. Enjoy that first little peep of Lady Litton by Clouseau and the bellboy as they go up against a sauna with their polyester clothing and become all the stronger and funnier for it.


“My Summer of Love”.

Abrupt 180 degree turns happen to multiple characters in “My Summer of Love” thus unleashing intimacy and change, love and anger, reality and imagination upon the world. Sorting the temporary from the permanent in this crazy British flick is half the fun, as the other half is watching the terrific performances including that of the darn near always perfect Paddy Considine as the born again brother. Featuring the best use of a gnome as a tool of romantic justice, the girls lay their verdict down upon Tamsin’s father’s car in a tiny but impactful scene.


“The Full Monty”.

Stodgy takes off its suit and tie and gets naked like an intern at the Christmas party in “The Full Monty”. This film offers up serious amounts of man-type nudity not for art, definitely not for the glory of the human body but for the best possible reason ever: money. Robert Carlyle and company go beyond the stripping as they tackle all sorts of societal issues from homophobia to proper parenting, all while keeping it nice and crazy as they walk on the wacky side of British film life. Dance gets broken down into soccer strategies when the Arsenal off-side trap teaches the men how to stand in a straight line in one massively amusing scene.