Sure, he may be composed of substantially different genetic material than Tom Brady is, but in the rock-paper-scissors game of awesome careers, the only thing that covers “Super Bowl-winning quarterback” is “costumed crime fighter.” In case you were wondering, both of those are cooler than “President of the United States.”
Britt’s life was awesome when he was a drunk screw-up, but his dad kept hassling him. Totally harsh. Now that his dad is out of the picture, Reid has gotten his shit together. Also, Reid wins in the sidekick department. Reid has Kato, whereas Tom Brady just has Rob Gronkowski. Cooler name, cooler guy.
Don’t expect Reid’s place on this list to last long, though. He’s in publishing, so unless he diversifies, I’m guessing that his fortune will go to shit by the time you read the end of this paragraph. Right here. Now.
Prince Akeem is modest, charming, and ungodly rich and powerful. He can travel the world, namely Manhattan, in the lap of luxury, or he can return to his African palace in Zamunda to learn martial arts, ride elephants, or get his penis cleaned by the royal bathers. It’s a pretty sweet gig. While he isn’t a pro athlete, and perhaps not particularly famous on a global level, he did stop Samuel L. Jackson from robbing that McDowell’s, and as we mentioned above, crime fighter is the only profession that tops quarterback.
Also, Arsenio Hall as a sidekick also beats Rob Gronkowski. Sorry, Rob.