If everything you experienced stayed fresh in that big brain of yours then you’d probably still be huddled in the corner from that time you tore your pants at recess in the second grade. Thankfully your grey matter still loses your keys on a weekly basis, so why not make it feel better by re-watching any of these five movies like “The Bourne Identity” that you don’t remember watching.
A mysterious man with specialized skills in the fine art of killing goes up against a current inmate who can identify him hopefully before an assassination takes place in “The Jackal.” With the exception of the awesomely strange dye job on Bruce Willis and Richard Gere’s Irish accent, this movie sets out the tension and mystery like “The Bourne Identity” and then BASE jumps into the far recesses of our memory to be forgotten. Watch Willis hunt down the gun maker Lamont, played by Jack Black, and let the realization creep in that you don’t care who dies in this film as long as it ends before bed time.
Plenty of bullets, explosions, and mayhem fill “Max Payne,” along with a hero out for vengeance that has the talent to survive against all odds. The only problem, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a problem, is that it’s a completely forgettable action movie with character development that a stiff wind could knock over. Tackle the bathroom bait and switch thieves scene and you’ll find that too much shadow and stylized gunwork can be a thing in a crime noir film.
“The Long Kiss Goodnight”
Featuring a government assassin with trauma induced amnesia, “The Long Kiss Goodnight” bears a strong similarity at its foundation to a movie like “The Bourne Identity.” This time the assassin is a woman and her companion in crime is an amusing and morally grey private detective, but on the whole the action, the killing, and the vague trips down memory lane add up to some Jason Bourne type escapades. Even with the bizarre water wheel torture scene of Geena Davis, the craziness and fun of this film can easily disappear under the avalanche of neurons it would take to keep up with all the movies Samuel Jackson has done.
“The Raid: Redemption”
With a storyline that from start to finish could be summed up in less than three sentences, “The Raid: Redemption” cares not for your needy co-dependent love of plot and smacks you around with almost as much non-stop action as your grandmother on her wedding day. With sweaty, bloody action that features a simple twist this flick fulfills all your visual needs without trying your brain too hard or needing to be remembered down the road as anything but “fantastic.” When the cops figure out a way to escape their trapped room, you’ll be hard pressed to not stand up and clap at the amount of ass kicking going on in that scene.
No amnesia here but there is an assassin, a beautiful woman, and a twisty plot line that would make “The Bourne Identity” proud. With careful detachment the unnamed man, played by Daniel Craig, runs his drug business smoothly until the outside world chooses to interfere in his operations and things go pear shaped. There’s something particularly English, as well as extremely violent, about Morty giving out a beating that ends with a tea bath, so stay tuned for that scene in this movie that is worth forgetting just so you can watch it again.