5 Movie Nuns Who Aren’t That Holy

Thursday, July 11 by Loretta Arnold

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You will not find your average aptly-titled "Flying Nun" in these five not-so-holy nun flicks, but you'll find another side of heaven you never knew existed. Why yes, nuns are humans that sometimes can be disturbed or divert others with their gun toting ways. In order to get to a little movie heaven you have to go through storyline hell.

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Anne Bancroft does wonders for "Agnes of God" (1985). Mother (Miriam) Ruth, a diversion portrayed by Anne Bancroft, defines contradiction in a convent where a baby has died. The human ashtray, a.k.a. Jane Fonda, is a free speaker and a non-believer investigating the death of the child. Agnes, flaked out fanatic, claimed she was knocked up by a 'higher' power. Which didn't set well with Mother Superior Ruth. Sister Agnes became pregnant, in a convent, not so holy?

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"Sister Act" (1992). Whoopie Goldberg jump starts her secret life inside of a convent as a nun-slash-government-witness. This was one of the first nun movies that put a naughty nun notion on the map. Good thing America was humored or Sister Act II wouldn't have done as well as "Sister Act I". Best part?  All "Sister Act" movies will leave open minded viewers laughing about all kinds of unholy scenes.

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"Nuns on the Run" (1990). Okay, so they are not nuns, but one has to admit, this is a classic nun-related flick. In a nutshell, two guys (Brian and Charlie) find themselves in a gangster jam when they are set up and have to find refuge. Running out of luck or into a convent, they choose the path of the convent where they encounter nuns with attitude.

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"Two Mules for Sister Sara" (1970). The best of the seventies in the "Two Mules for Sister Sara", a feel good story starring no other than sharp tongued Shirley McClaine. Expect a little back talk in this film and all coming from a nun. Clint Eastwood is the wallpaper that ties this flick together. A star cast, a great story about a nun, rebels and the slinging cowboy with one-liners, catch phrases and that good old Mexican-style back-drop.

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"Machete" (2011). "Machete", truly a movie I can't define, deliver or deal with watching the entire film all the way to the end. But there's a part in it with a very bad, but good, nun. And any nun portrayed by Lindsay Lohan has got to be interesting. The gun toting nun assists her idol God by protecting him at all cost. Or until her weapons give out. This nun obviously belongs here! She's a bad, bad nun in this bad, bad movie.