For those of you that still struggle with the junior crosswords and the no longer age appropriate puzzle books, there is a genre of movies for you to celebrate your dullness. Just sit back, have a lot of something with high fructose corn syrup and engage your inner schadenfreude as you watch these five movie code breakers who broke the wrong code.


Neo, “The Matrix Revolutions”

If Neo had just managed to keep his head down or at least taken the right pill, “The Matrix Revolutions” would have never existed thus avoiding a trilogy that would’ve ended neatly as a single film. Sadly he had to go deep into the code behind the matrix instead of living a comfortable life as a human battery and getting three square meals of nicely composted human. By breaking free from this code, Neo allowed a greater horror than the eventual artificial intelligent robots versus humans battle, he unleashed the bizarre primitive dance celebration scene that should’ve caused multiple aneurysms in anyone who doesn’t attack the image of themselves in a mirror.


Douglas Hall, “The Thirteenth Floor”

With a bit of a dive down the old rabbit hole, “The Thirteenth Floor” throws one virtual reality after another as one man tries to find the truth about his world, which isn’t quite as tangible as he first thinks. As the protagonist Hall tries to figure out if he’s a murderer, along with finding out that he’s nothing more than a simulation you get the feeling that he’d probably be a lot happier without ever getting to peek behind the curtail of his reality. As the finale hits, you have to wonder if Hall is happy in his new, real body that once housed a killer or if he’d rather be back in the computer, blissfully unaware of his puppet masters.


The Team, “Sneakers”

With the life lesson that fake F.B.I. agents can be more dangerous than real ones, “Sneakers” sets a group of hackers on the path to finding the ultimate code breaking machine. Although the guys do disable the box before turning it over for their chosen rewards from the N.S.A., the fact that electronic shenanigans ensure afterwards should leave quite a trail back to the group, which means a sequel should’ve happened by now. As the N.S.A. conversation continues while the guys watch the agency track their phone call, the tension of being found and punished is a great scene in a greater movie.


Matt Farrell, “Live Free or Die Hard”

A pissed off former government employee decides to destroy America’s network infrastructure and make some cash by utilizing various top notch hackers to help write his destructive codes. Unfortunately for the villains, they forgot to take into account good old elbow grease, pain tolerance and gunplay as John McClane squares off with them, all while having to protect the lone surviving semi-effeminate hacker Matt Farrell. As Farrell realizes that a “fire sale” is actually happening you can see in his face that taking fast cash for code breaking was a catastrophic fail on his part.


Simon Lynch, “Mercury Rising”

Part thriller, part bizarre warning to autistic children to stay away from game magazines, “Mercury Rising” errs on the side of punishing the genius versus throwing a NDA on him along with a lifelong employment contract by sending assassins to wipe the kid and his family off the map. It’s true that the movie would’ve bombed if it actually just celebrated Simon Lynch’s accomplishments so watch the code breaker regret breaking the code as the assassins try again at the hospital only to have the apparent protector of smart kids, Bruce Willis, send him off to the river Styx.