5 Memorable TV Drug Dealers

Thursday, January 26 by Helena Handbasket

Escobar of Nip Tuck.jpg

Escobar Gallardo, “Nip Tuck“. Escobar Gallardo helped make the hit series “Nip Tuck” a raging success from the very first season. There’s no way in hell any “Nip Tuck” fan could forget Escobar. He was so much more than just a drug dealer. He was a heartless, tattooed, maniacal parasite, a drug-muling smuggler of illegal aliens that held the fate of Troy and McNamara under his thumb for four whole seasons. Think hot, illegal Latino alien chicks with breast implants full of heroin. What ingenuity!

Walter White on Breaking Bad.jpg

Walter White, “Breaking Bad“. You can’t even love to hate Walter White, a high school chemistry teacher making meth amphetamines to support his cancer treatment, pregnant wife and handicapped teen son. You gotta love this guy, even when he’s brutally murdering rival drug dealers, blowing up gang dens and eluding his DEA agent brother-in-law. Mad props to Walter for taking his former failed student, Jesse, under his wing and encouraging him to pursue a career in “science”. It’s great to see teachers getting involved.

Nancy Botwin of Weeds.jpg
Nancy Botwin, “Weeds“. Two words: Botwin is a widowed upper-middle class white suburban mother peddling grass to support her family after the sudden death of her husband leaves her to raise two boys on her own. At first, she takes a responsible approach to drug dealing and doesn’t deal to kids. By the end of the second season, Nancy sets her entire neighborhood ablaze, marries a DEA agent, gets him killed, gets knocked up by the drug dealing mayor of Tijuana and lets her teenage sons in on the business. Miraculously, she still finds time for PTA and Neighborhood Association meetings and to smoke with Snoop Dog, inspiring him to free-style the hit single “MILF Weed” to pay Miss Nancy her props! Now that’s what you call time management!

Alvarez on Sons Of Anarchy.jpg

Marcus Alvarez, “Sons Of Anarchy“. Speaking of family businesses, who could ever forget Marcus Alvarez on “Sons Of Anarchy“? This dude is so ruthless, he personally assassinated his own son (in a playground in broad daylight) just for bungling a drug-deal-gone-bad assassination hit on another gang. This Latin bulldog of a man leads his MC, The Mayans, in controlling the entire drug organization of Charming (and its surrounding, but less talked about areas) and squeezing arsenals of firearms out of our beloved Sons by any means possible. Business deals, threats, extortion: you know, the usual. At the end of the day, no matter how many guns are drawn, throats are cut, or cocaine, heroin and prostitute deals are reneged on, Alvarez always manages to come to a compromise and find a way to be true to the Sons. What a pal!