5 Family Movies That Are So Bad You'll Wish Your Family Was Dead
A good family movie can make you feel all warm and fuzzy. It can make you feel closer to your other family members. But some family movies are so bad that they may make you wish that your family was dead. That sounds extreme, but these cinematic abortions are bad in a way that is almost beyond description. The phrase "so bad, it's good" doesn't apply here, as these films are so bad that they looped past "good" and went all the way back to "bad" again. If you and the family are looking for entertainment, you may want to look for something other than these five wretched family movies.
Oh, Bill Cosby. Movies just aren't your thing, are they? "Leonard Pt. 6" was awful, but you didn't learn, did you? The Cozz may have had success with his TV shows, and the "Himself" comedy special is legendary, but his films are putrid. Witness 1990's "Ghost Dad." Audiences are left lifeless as tired joke after tired joke is done over and over again, to the delight of no one. If Jell-O pudding pops weren't so delicious, Bill may never have recovered from this fiasco.
Brendan Fraser is box office poison. There was a time when he was considered a legit actor, capable of good performances, and romancing Rachel Weisz on screen believably. But that time in Earth's ancient past is long forgotten, and now we have him to thank for movies like "Furry Vengeance." If your kids ask to rent this, you may want to consider putting them up for adoption, because even a child has to know that this movie is so bad you'll wish your family was dead.
"Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2."
The first movie was forgettable. Was the world really crying out for a sequel? Somebody thought this was a good idea, and actually committed a script for this movie to paper. That should be an arrestable offense. Rehashing the plot of an already thinly-stretched premise is never a good idea, and "Baby Geniuses 2" is the proof of that.
"3 Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain."
If you're banking on Hulk Hogan to carry your movie to respectable levels, maybe you ought to check out "Suburban Commando" before you give him a call. The first "3 Ninjas" movie was passable kid's fare. Not good, but not epically bad. The sequel was subject to the law of diminishing returns, and the franchise should have died quietly with it. But no, movie execs are evil, and they want to you to wish that your family was dead, so they unleashed a family film boot to the stomach with this flick.
"The Cat in the Hat."
You had to know this one was coming. Once upon time, this was a beloved children's story. Then Hollywood got their diseased paws on it, and they turned it into to something...foul. Something evil. This movie has a black soul, and it seeks to destroy you. If you are somehow forced to watch this movie, turn away and cover your ears unless you want its black magic to corrupt you and forced you to murder family, a la "The Shining."