As you probably know, MNightSchool.org is trying to raise enough money to send director M. Night Shyamalan back to film school. While the goal is $150,000, less than $400 has been raised thus far, meaning it doesn’t look like M. Night will get the education he so desperately needs. Then again, who am I to talk? I can’t even spell “desperately” without the help of my old friend “Spell Check,” so obviously, I’m not much of a righter.
At any rate, it’s a shame that the plan isn’t coming together. Perhaps sending M. Night back to school would have started a trend among sub-par directors. And like crappy Internet writers (i.e. me), there’s certainly no shortage of those. Here are five directors besides M. Night Shyamalan in desperate need of a re-education.
I like Kevin Smith, and I want to like his movies. But all things considered, James Marsh is right, and “most of them are sh*t, quite honestly.” OK, that’s too harsh. Even his worst movies have at least a few laughs. But I can’t help but wonder if Smith might be better off finishing up his film degree before starting his next project. The fact that he dropped out of film school to finance Clerks makes for a great story, but it also makes for several sub-par movies.
Robbins built up a lot of good will with his role on “Head of the Class.” Well, that’s my opinion, anyway. I’ve always been a bit of a “Head of the Class”-Head, as we hardcore fans like to be called. But he’s flushed that good will straight down the toilet with Norbit, Good Burger, and Meet Dave. But unlike the next few entries, at least no one pretends that Robbins’ movies are good.
McG has made four movies. Two of them have the words “Charlie’s Angels” in the title. Of the remaining two, one drove the Terminator franchise into the ground, and the other stars Matthew McConaughey. An impressive filmography this is not. Film school would do McG good. Unfortunately, you need a first and last name to fill out the application.
Brett Rattner is the genius behind Rush Hour, a film that revolutionized the way we look at loud black men and funny talk’n foreigners. He was also behind the crap-tacular last installment of the X-Men trilogy. Granted, Red Dragon wasn’t a bad film, but given the cast and the source material, Orson Wells could have done just as well. I know he was a great director. I was being literal. Orson Wells’ corpse could have made Red Dragon.
Holy shit, where do I begin?
Film school would be a great move for Perry. In fact, any schooling would be a great move, since his GED clearly isn’t cutting it. Actually, that’s not fair. His GED is doing just fine, considering that by the time I finish typing this sentence, he’ll have made more money than I will make all year. But making profitable films and making quality films are two very different things. Diary of a Mad Black Woman might be the worst film I have ever seen. However, I will say that the ham-fisted Christian overtones did succeed in restoring my faith in a higher power. Only divin intervention can account for Perry’s success.