5 Directors Besides M. Night Shyamalan Who Should Go Back To Film School

Wednesday, April 13 by

As you probably know, MNightSchool.org is trying to raise enough money to send director M. Night Shyamalan back to film school. While the goal is $150,000, less than $400 has been raised thus far, meaning it doesn’t look like M. Night will get the education he so desperately needs. Then again, who am I to talk? I can’t even spell “desperately” without the help of my old friend “Spell Check,” so obviously, I’m not much of a righter.

At any rate, it’s a shame that the plan isn’t coming together. Perhaps sending M. Night back to school would have started a trend among sub-par directors. And like crappy Internet writers (i.e. me), there’s certainly no shortage of those. Here are five directors besides M. Night Shyamalan in desperate need of a re-education.

Kevin Smith

I like Kevin Smith, and I want to like his movies. But all things considered, James Marsh is right, and “most of them are sh*t, quite honestly.” OK, that’s too harsh. Even his worst movies have at least a few laughs. But I can’t help but wonder if Smith might be better off finishing up his film degree before starting his next project. The fact that he dropped out of film school to finance Clerks makes for a great story, but it also makes for several sub-par movies.

Brian Robbins

Robbins built up a lot of good will with his role on “Head of the Class.” Well, that’s my opinion, anyway. I’ve always been a bit of a “Head of the Class”-Head, as we hardcore fans like to be called. But he’s flushed that good will straight down the toilet with Norbit, Good Burger, and Meet Dave. But unlike the next few entries, at least no one pretends that Robbins’ movies are good.

McG

McG has made four movies. Two of them have the wordsCharlie’s Angels” in the title. Of the remaining two, one drove the Terminator franchise into the ground, and the other stars Matthew McConaughey. An impressive filmography this is not. Film school would do McG good. Unfortunately, you need a first and last name to fill out the application.

Brett Rattner

Brett Rattner is the genius behind Rush Hour, a film that revolutionized the way we look at loud black men and funny talk’n foreigners. He was also behind the crap-tacular last installment of the X-Men trilogy. Granted, Red Dragon wasn’t a bad film, but given the cast and the source material, Orson Wells could have done just as well. I know he was a great director. I was being literal. Orson Wells’ corpse could have made Red Dragon.

Tyler Perry

Holy shit, where do I begin?

Film school would be a great move for Perry. In fact, any schooling would be a great move, since his GED clearly isn’t cutting it. Actually, that’s not fair. His GED is doing just fine, considering that by the time I finish typing this sentence, he’ll have made more money than I will make all year. But making profitable films and making quality films are two very different things. Diary of a Mad Black Woman might be the worst film I have ever seen. However, I will say that the ham-fisted Christian overtones did succeed in restoring my faith in a higher power. Only divin intervention can account for Perry’s success.

COMMENTS

  1. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    WAINGRO

    John Singleton.


  2. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    moucly

    Guy Ritchie should also go back to Film School


  3. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Ryan Stewart

    This is one of the dumbest articles I’ve ever encountered anywhere. I don’t blame you for publishing it under a fake name. What does film school, either dropping out of it, or going back to it, have to do with how talented someone is? Surely I don’t need to list all the filmmakers who never went at all. And all the directors listed here have proven themselves to be immensely talented, except for Brian Robbins and Tyler Perry. You think it’s easy to direct a Charlie’s Angels script, to put a visually inventive spin on each scene, to try to make the whole thing work as entertainment? Go try it. You think any jerk can make an X-Men movie that’s not terrible? You’re drastically underestimating what that requires. Could you have directed Chasing Amy and Dogma? I doubt it. Horseshit articles like this are why filmmakers are increasingly antagonistic to web-based film journalism in general. Please, please go do something else with your life.

    Ryan Stewart


  4. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    getitright

    Judd Apatow and Francis Lawrence


  5. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    getitright

    Judd Apatow and Francis Lawrence


  6. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Quintella Herrington

    You must not have seen alot of films if Diary of a Mad Black Woman is one of the worst films you’ve seen.


  7. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    TinyDickman

    You must not of ever heard of over reactions, much of the time on the internet, they are taken to a whole new level of ridiculous, you know, like how every single person makes a ludicrous statement about how they rather stab their eyes out rather than watch that movie again.


  8. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Anonymous


  9. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Erica H.

    If he can over react in an article, why can’t I over react in a comment.


  10. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Erica H.

    Rottentomatoes means absolutely nothing to me.


  11. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Erica H.

    Rottentomatoes means absolutely nothing to me.


  12. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Anonymous

    “HAHAHA! GET IT? HE’S IN A DRESS! HAHAH! NOW HE’S GOT A CHAIN SAW! HILARIOUS!”


  13. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Anonymous

    I already said I suck in the article. Everyone mentioned is 1000 x more successful than I will ever be. But the day you convince me that Charlie’s Angels was a good movie is the day I win a Pulitzer for this shit.

    And the whole “film school” angle was a joke, based on the website mentioned in the intro. Granted, maybe it wasn’t funny. BUT DO YOU KNOW HARD IT IS TO WRITE CRAP EVERY DAY? BOO HOO HOO! WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE?

    Thanks for reading.


  14. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    TinyDickman

    You weren’t overreacting though, you making a statement, this is like 1st grade stuff


  15. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Erica H.

    How would you know that?


  16. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Erica H.

    What’s not funny about that?? :P


  17. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Anonymous

    Haha! Good point. I’m starting to like you ;)


  18. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Erica H.

    Thanks. Much respect to anyone that can write more than two articles. I tried to have a blog… and I failed. :)


  19. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Anonymous

    Keep trying. You can probably do better than me..not that it’s hard :)


  20. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Johnny Two Farts

    Charlie’s Angels was terrible, X3 was terrible, McG sucks and so does Ratner. However, Ratner and Shyamalan both already WENT to NYU. Maybe instead of sending them back there we could start recognizing that perhaps NYU is part of the problem.


  21. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Anonymous

    Yeah, I was just making a joke about the M. Night fund drive. I don’t think anyone really needs to go back.


  22. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Yves

    How can you have a director like Kevin Smith who actually makes decent films and not Uwe Boll?


  23. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Yves

    How can you have a director like Kevin Smith who actually makes decent films and not Uwe Boll?


  24. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Anonymous

    That’s fair. I haven’t seen enough of Uwe Boll to include him. I’ve heard he’s awful, though.


  25. April 13, 2011 4:53 pm

    Scott Menzel

    Judd Apatow and that guy who directs all those recent adam sandler movies….he is just terrible