30 Minutes or Less: 5 Movie Pizza Delivery Men

Monday, May 7 by Chris Pence

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	<span style=Forget "Ice Road Truckers," "Swamp Loggers," or "The Deadliest Catch." It's about time that the world learns what many in the food service industry already know: Pizza pie delivery is the toughest job out there. These dudes should be wearing bulletproof vests and strap on a pistol or two for all the trouble they endure. Don't believe it? The movies below prove the old saying, "It's hard out here for a P.I.M.P. (Pizza-Issuing Mobile Professional)".

1. Randy Bodek, "Loverboy" (1989)

 

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	<span style=The film known for its catchphrase, "Extra anchovies!" Randy (Patrick Dempsey) has the unenviable task of maneuvering through congested traffic, working for crummy tips, and bedding lonely housewives, all in the name of Senor Pizza. If that isn't bad enough, he ignites the anger of cuckolded husbands who want to express their frustration with their fists on Randy’s face. Plus, Randy has a college girlfriend who does not seem to understand why he was hopping in the sack with other women. Just goes to show that even pie guys who go above and beyond the call of duty still get no respect.

2. Pizza Guy, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" (1990)

 

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Saddled with the lonely name of “Pizza Guy”, this delivery dude evidences a dedication to his craft rarely seen in the pizza-making subculture. Not only is he willing to drive a pizza to what appears to be a less than pleasant part of town, but he takes guff from the inhabitants of a sewer. Most people would run, not walk, at the sound of voices coming from underground, but not Pizza Guy. He argues with the Turtles and expresses his annoyance with his tip. This is a delivery guy who demands respect, even from mutated reptiles trained in the martial arts.

3. Jesse Montgomery III & Chester Greenburg, "Dude, Where's My Car?" (2000)

 

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Jesse (Ashton Kutcher) and Chester (Seann William Scott) are two pizza delivery dudes whose lack of peripheral vision leads them to believe their car has been stolen. From there, they take off on a crazy adventure involving transgender strippers, UFO cultists, mega-hot alien women, and a Rubik's Cube that can blow up the universe. In the end, these two pizza slingers save humankind from total destruction, and for that, they deserve a hearty thanks and a bigger-than-average tip.

4. Pizza Boy, "Home Alone" (1989)

 

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In league with Pizza Guy from “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”, Pizza Boy is a mobile pizza professional who braves the harsh temperatures and hazardous snow of winter just to get a pizza to secluded brat Kevin McAllister. And what does he get for his trouble? Pizza Boy is subjected to mock gunfire while the McAllister kid chuckles, reveling in his adolescent sadism. To add insult to injury, Kevin is a horrible tipper. As Pizza Boy runs for his life, Kevin tells him to keep the change from the measly amount he's been given and then degrades him further by labeling him a "dirty animal." Next time he gets a call to the McAllister house, Pizza Boy should think about spitting on their pizza.

5. Nick, "30 Minutes or Less" (2011)

 

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Nick (Jesse Eisenberg) is a pizza delivery guy who, on the surface, would appear to inspire nobody but his fellow slackers. He’s worked as a deliveryman since high school graduation, cannot get up the nerve to tell the love of his life that he wants to be with her, and takes daily abuse from his douchebag of a boss. But he drops his loser status when he is forced to rob a bank with a bomb strapped to his chest. If Nick does not get the money, Nick goes boom. Not only does he pull off the heist, but he foils the plans of the bad guys, tells off his boss, and gets the girl in the end. For this, Nick should be hailed as King of the Pie Guys.