We've covered topless scenes, bikini scenes, and even pigtails, so the next logical step in our devolution toward becoming a softcore porn site is the 29 greatest thong scenes in cinema history. Inspired by Natalie Portman's upcoming thong scene in Your Highness, we spent hours combing the Internet in order to bring you the best of the best in thong-related cinema. This was no easy task, and came at great personal expense. As a result of compiling this list, I've been desensitized to the point where my penis didn't even budge while watching the three-way scene from Wild Things. I hope you're happy. Enjoy the thongs.

(If you like thongs, you'll love our twitter account. Follow us @screenjunkies)

Note: We included one-piece bathing suits that floss in the back. If you don't like it, write your friggin' congressman.

Melanie Griffith - Fear City (1984)

There was a time where Melanie Griffith in a thong was something people would pay to see. That time was 1984, and it was every bit as chilling as Owell's dystopian tale.

Click here for the full video (NSFW).

Linda Kozlowski - Crocodile Dundee (1986)

Remember when Australian crap was all the rage? If not, you were probably born after 1990. There's no shame in that, but you did miss out on same great thong scenes. But you also missed out on hyper-color shirts, so I guess you take the good with the bad.

Goldie Hawn - Overboard (1987)

If you've ever wondered where Kate Hudson gets her good looks, look no further than Goldie Hawn in this scene from Overboard. I'd make a joke about those stupid glasses, but chances are, you didn't even notice she was wearing them.

Kelly Lynch - Cocktail (1988)

Kelly Lynch looks great in this thong scene from the Tom Crusie classic, Cocktail. But I'll always remember her as Patrick Swayze's girl in Roadhouse. Rest in peace, Dalton.

Eloise Broady - Weekend at Bernies (1989)

I'd never heard of Eloise Broady until I looked her name up today, but her performance in Weekend at Bernie's has stuck with me for over 20 years. Now that's what I call great acting. Please note that I didn't make a joke about her ass getting a dead man aroused. Even though it was perfect for the film, I took the high road.

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Nicolette Scorsese - Christmas Vacation (1989)

You don't actually see the thong in this Chevy Chase holiday comedy, but we had to include it. Screw you if you don't like it. It's a god damn classic.

Loryn Locklin - Taking Care of Business (1990)

If you actually want to watch this film, you'll have to deal with 120 minutes of Jim Beliushi. Luckily, the author of this Youtube video has edited out "the Belush," leaving only the good parts (the "good parts" being Loryn Locklin's ass).

Katherine Heigl - My Father the Hero (1994)

If you watched the clip above and liked it, you are a pedophile. That is all.

Jamie Lee Curtis - True Lies (1994)

I heard a rumor about Jamie Lee Curtis. Apparently, before she was selling yogurt that makes you shit, she used to be hot.

Kari Wuhrer - Crossing Guard (1995)

I've never seen Crossing Guard, and now that I've seen the best part, I probably never will. What? There's a topless scene? Well then, I stand corrected.

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Kim Cattrall - Live Nude Girls (1995)

Before Cattrall made a name for herself playing a bloated-old walrus on "Sex and the City," she used to look pretty good in a thong. Good to know.

Demi Moore - Striptease (1996)

Before she was serving up Bruce Willis' sloppy seconds to Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore was busy giving lap dances in films like Striptease. In my opinion, this is the sexiest thing she ever took part in, aside from GI Jane, of course.

Claire Danes - To Gillian On Her 37th Birthday (1996)

If I had any idea this movie had Claire Danes in a thong, I might have watched it. Well, at least I might have watched back in 1996. I can get porn for free on the Internet, now, so there's really no need to sit through a crap-film like this just to catch a glimpse of an ass cheek. At any rate, she looks good.

Jaime Pressly - Poison Ivy 3 (1997)

This seven second clip is a thousand times better than all the episodes of "My Name Is Earl" combined. Nice work, Jaime.

Denise Richards - Wild Things (1998)

Between all the nudity and three-way sex, you probably don't remember that Denise Richards wore a thong in Wild Things. Well she did, and it was spectacular.

Click here for the NSFW video.

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Carmen Electra - Scary Movie (2000)

Carmen Electra's ass is a lot like a White Castle hamburger. Yes, they probably both smell like onions, but that's not my point. If you don't live near a White Castle, it's awesome to get one when you have the chance. But if they open a White Castle by your house, you stop caring, cause it's always there. Carmen Electra's ass is ALWAYS there, so I just don't care any more.

Gwyneth Paltrow - Shallow Hal (2001)

Gwyneth Paltrow isn't exactly my go-to girl when it comes to hot asses. I save that spot for Ryan Seacrest. But even so, she pulls this thong scene off quite nicely.

Kate Winslet - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Kate Winslet looks hot in a thong. Sure, you can see her topless in other films, but at least in this one, she isn't playing a cradle-robbing Nazi. It's a trade off.

Natalie Portman - Closer (2004)

Natalie Portman might wear a thong in Your Highness, but it's not the first time. We can't forget to mention her wonderful strip-club scene in Closer.

Tara Reid - Silent Partner (2005)

Tara Reid takes a lot of flack just because she's a moron with crappy looking, surgically-modified breasts. But this thong scene goes a long way toward making up for "Franken-nipple."

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Carla Gugino - Sin City (2005)

Carla Gugino walks around topless for most of her role in Sin City. But don't let her giant breasts blind you to how awesome she looks in a thong. Actually, do what ever the hell you want. I don't care.

Sienna Miller - Alfie (2005)

This scene of Sienna Miller topless in a thong is just one more reason to punch Jude Law in his smug limey face.

Click here for the full video (NSFW).

Vera Farmiga - Running Scared (2006)

While Vera Farmiga's pants never come off in this scene, her thong still manages to make an appearance. You have to appreciate that kind of effort.

Olga Kurylenko in Hitman (2007)

Based on the minarets in this scene, I'd advise Olga Kurylenko to put some pants on before she ends up with a stone (or 20) upside her head.

Marisa Tomei - The Wrestler (2008)

Marisa Tomei was in her mid-40's when this scene was filmed, and she still looked better than most women half her age. Then again, if I was standing next to Mickey Rourke, I'd probably look like George Clooney by comparison, so I guess it's all relative.

Click here for the full NSFW video. The video went down and we can't find another one right now, so that screen-cap will have to do. Anyway, click 'Next Page' for the stunning conclusion of our Greatest Thong Scenes list!

Willa Ford - Impulse (2008)

(Skip to 3:24. Or just watch from the beginning and enjoy the ride.)

I don't know who Willa Ford is, but she makes me want to go out and buy stock in a thong company.

Eliza Dushku - Nobel Son (2009)

Nobel Son contains the best Eliza Dushku performance I have ever seen. It's also the only Eliza Dushku performance I've ever seen (or care to remember).

Kristen Stewart - Welcome to the Rileys (2010)

See, if Twilight had more thongs, and less shirtless wolf-boys, I'd give it a chance.

Jacqueline Obradors - Six Days Seven Nights (2010)

If you ever have a woman this hot throwing herself at you, please don't fuck it up like Ross goddamned Geller.