12 Cringingly Bootleg Toys

Friday, April 6 by

The summer blockbuster season is nearly upon us, which means there will soon be a whole new crop of movie tie-ins lining the shelves of toy stores. Which also means there will be a whole new crop of wackass bootleg knock-offs lining the shelves of dollar stores and blankets of subway platforms.

If they’re nearly as hilarious as these examples that preceded them, we’re all in for a treat. Can’t wait to get my complete set of The Avenge Team.


Three blockbuster films under his belt have proved too stressful for Toy Story’s Woody.The spoils of fame have gone to his head and hurled him into a downward spiral of drugs, alcohol, and sex addicition. It’s sad to see him ride the snake in his boot but even the brightest of stars sometimes burn out. If I were selling this toy, I’d market it as “Florida Cowboy.”

Titanic Bot

When selling toys to children, it’s perhaps best not to focus on maritime disasters that claimed the lives of their ancestors. I always thought that Pearl Harbor was Michael Bay’s version ofTitanic. I stand corrected.


Where does he get all those terrible toys?

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