10 Characters Deserving Of Student Loan Debt Forgiveness

Otis – Kicking and Screaming

I really worry about Otis. He graduated from college with a degree but without a lick of sense. Being neurotic and wearing pyjamas as clothing is a dangerous combination and the only job he could find was at a video store. That’s a dangerous field to be in with the rate that video stores are going out of business. No doubt he’ll have to take out a cash advance on his credit card. That will drive his APR through the roof. The credit card companies are really going to rape him. He needs help.

Droz – PCU

Let’s ignore the fact that he scammed his way through school, and focus on the fact that he’s old as f*ck. What company is going to hire a 35-year old undergrad?

Ogre – Revenge of the Nerds

Ogre has some big troubles coming his way. It’s obvious that he got into college on a football scholarship. But is he really willing to pin his future to NFL dreams? What if he blows a knee? Where will he be then? And based of of the revenge of the nerd sequel, there’s a very real chance he’d fail the drug test. Up to his eyeballs in debt and out of touch with Stan Gable. It’s also very likely he’ll be working in a grocery warehouse and frightening women.