Lyle Alzado was a quintessentially 80’s football bad boy, by which I mean he had a beard and often wore bandanas.
While those touches helped sell the image of “bad boy,” what really made him a “bad boy” was the fact that he did steroids until he got a brain tumor that eventually killed him. How’s that for naughty?
While Alzado had roles in a lot of stupid films, he also had a role in an secretly-classic film. That film is Ernest Goes to Camp, a film I watched approximately seven times per day for about three years growing up.
His role as a surly construction worker tasked with tearing down the camp is featured here in an insanely homoerotic tribute video.
Bubba Smith played the memorable Hightower in the Police Academy franchise. The role called for Smith to play a big black guy, which he did with ease, as playing a big black guy came to him very naturally. Smith stood 6’7″ inches as a defensive end for the Colts, Raiders, and Oilers. He is often confused with Ed “Too Tall” Jones, who played 15 seasons for the Dallas Cowboys. Jones stood 6’9”, so while it’s apparent that Jones was indeed “too tall,” we can all agree that Bubba Smith was also very tall, indeed.
Smith reprised his role in all but one of the Police Academy sequels. Which one didn’t he join? If you must know, it was 1994’s Mission to Moscow, which means that one must have really sucked.
Brian Bosworth was a highly-touted prospect hailing from the University of Oklahoma, who went on to play for the Seattle Seahawks after he sent letters to prospective teams telling them he wouldn’t play for them if drafted. He was a regular steroid user, which might explain the aggressively idiotic haircuts he gave himself.
After leaving the NFL in 1989 after having played only two games that season due to injury, he went on to star in Stone Cold, a film in which The Boz breaks all the rules, gets results, and presumably turns a few cities into war zones despite the fact that this is an election year for the mayor.
I haven’t seen the film, but that’s my guess. Honestly, I only included this role because Brian Bosworth wears a duster in modern times.