A simple Twilight summary would boil down to these two words: vampire propaganda. If vampires hired public relations firms to represent their cause, Twilight would be akin to a novel-length press release. I guess that means the cinematic version would equal a vampire infomercial. (If you buy the DVD now, you will get your blood sucked in three easy installments plus shipping and handling.) You may not by into this whitewash of vampire mythology, but reading this guide will at least help you know all the essentials about the Twilight saga that has sucked in your significant other.

Bella meets Edward: After her parents get divorced, Bella Swan moves with her father from Arizona to the gloomy town of Forks, Washington. As she starts her junior year on school' target='_blank'>high school, Bella meets the mysterious Edward Cullen. Bella sits next Edward in her biology class on the first day in her new school and is immediately fascinated by his aloof and withdrawn nature.

Edward prevents an accident: Upon their initial meeting, Bella is left confused by Edward's apparent dislike of her. Things between them begin to change a few days later when Edward saves Bella's life. Bella is on the verge of being struck by a van in the school parking lot when Edward speeds in from several feet away and stops the van with his hand. He is not injured by the act and leaves without an explanation for his superhuman strength.

Bella learns the truth: In an effort to unravel the mystery around Edward, Bella does extensive research and discovers he is a vampire. Edward confesses he is a 108 year old vampire and introduces Bella to the rest of his family. They are all friendly to humans and consume animal blood to satisfy their hunger. Bella and Edward soon fall in love.

Fleeing nomadic vampires: Bella's life is put in danger when a trio of nomadic vampires -- James, Victoria and Laurent -- arrive in Forks. James wants to hunt her for sport and the Cullen family does everything they can to protect her. Eventually, James tracks Bella to her sanctuary in Phoenix and draws her out of hiding. He attacks Bella and bites her wrist. Edward and his family arrive before James can kill her and he slays the evil vampire. Edward sucks out the venom from Bella's wrist to keep her human.

Return to Forks: Bella and Edward return to Washington and attend the junior prom. Edward refuses to grant Bella's desire to turn into a vampire. They dance while Victoria watches from the shadows, plotting her revenge against Edward for the death of James.