We’re Gonna Need a Montage for These Team America Quotes

Thursday, October 13 by Frost

When marionettes leave the county fair and take to the real world, you end up with the 10 best "Team America" quotes. Taking their cue from adult comedy and not bowing before their Muppet overlords, these marionettes take the ridiculous and make it both believable and imaginative. Put away your fears of talking children's toys and come enjoy these lines:

"Maybe feelings are feelings because we can't control them." With a sincere delivery this line ensures serious hilarity. Philosophy from a mind that closely resembles cardboard. A great "Team America" quote to use all the time on all unsuspecting friends.

"He may lack in courtesy, but he's the best martial artist Detroit has to offer." Detroit apparently isn't just the motor city but the place to go for hand-to-hand combat. A great throwaway line that starts you down the path to wondering what marital artists actually came from Detroit. Thankfully good table manners don't get in the way of kung fu grips.

"Gary you can't blame yourself for what gorillas did."  Is there ever anyone to blame for that situation? So funny that it's worth it to use this line on anyone after something bad happens. Try to avoid using it at funerals though as it won't be appropriate or even appreciated.

"This isn't about sex Gary, it's about trust." Watching marionettes manipulate marionettes makes for a perfect film. Gary's rather simplistic brain makes life worth laughing for the viewer. A gem of a "Team America" quote that piles the chuckles on until you'r buried deep underneath.

"When you see Arecc Barrwin, you see the true ugriness of human nature." Why Alec Baldwin needed to take the hit one may never know. Add this to Kim Jong il's rather pronounced accent and you get a lisping observation that is hilarious. Truly a "Team America" quote that makes the page for its strangely absurd statement.

"Head back to base for debriefing and cocktails." Back when men were men and women were hopefully still women, spies used to drink. A hard day's spying goes well with alcohol and why not be debriefed while imbibing a favorite beverage. A nice homage in this "Team America" quote to times of yore.

"Basically all the worst parts of the bible."  This is both a terrifying and funny "Team America" quote. Not only do you fear a whale swallowing them up but also there's a lot of unkind stuff beyond a great flood that will give you goose bumps. Now when that happens to puppets it becomes serious comedy.

"Remember this is no "I" in Team America." It probably took a short calculation to figure out if this line was true. You're not alone in having to quickly puzzle that one out. A solid "Team America" quote that makes fun of the lamer of cliches that still crop up in daily life.

"Or else we will be very angry with you, and we will write you a letter telling you telling you how angry we are."  A pointed observation on the efficacy of the United Nations doesn't have to be all seriousness. A good laugh at the expense of a global entity is still a good laugh. Now if only there were more trap doors for inefficient marionettes.

"Matt Damon." A "Team America" quote that crops up so many times during the film but loses none of its punch. Harsh but laughter inducing. By the last time this line is uttered you should be ready to collapse onto the floor into a comedy coma.

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