Tommy Boy Quotes

Thursday, July 28 by Lennox West

Looking for "Tommy Boy" quotes? The movie "Tommy Boy" was released in 1995 and starred Chris Farley and David Spade. Farley played Tommy Callahan Jr., heir to the Callahan Auto Parts company. When the plant is in danger of closing, Tommy sets out on a sales trip along with company accountant Richard (Spade). Predictably, Tommy is a terrible salesman and his trip with Richard is full of great quotes. Here are some of the best Tommy Boy quotes.

  1. "Fat guy in a little coat." - On one of the stops during the trip, Richard is in a bad mood because they aren't making any auto parts sales. In an attempt to cheer him up, Tommy puts on Richard's coat and begins swaying while singing "Fat Guy in a Little Coat." Shortly afterward, he splits the coat when he bends over.
  2. "Him too afraid to come out. Him just a little guy." – Tommy and Richard get into an argument during a car ride and Tommy pulls the car over to fight. He gets out and taunts Richard for not getting out, reciting this Tommy Boy quote in a feminine voice. Richard gets out of the car and knocks him out cold.
  3. "Can't believe you've never been cow tippin' before! Get ready to live." – When Tommy finally graduates from school after seven years, he takes Richard to a field to tip cows. Of course, he slips and falls face first into manure, causing the cows to stampede.
  4. "My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators." – Tommy's father, played by Brian Dennehy, takes Tommy on a tour of the auto parts factory. When Richard comes in with the latest company figures, he is ignored by Callahan Senior. He delivers this Tommy Boy quote before he leaves the room.
  5. "Shut up, dummy, it's not my fault!" – While arguing over the map on the road trip, Richard hits a deer with his car. The scene cuts away to show Tommy and Richard standing next to the carcass, sobbing. When Tommy tells Richard that the crash wouldn't have happened if Richard hadn't leaned over to insult him, Richard retorts with this quote in Tommy Boy.
  6. "Go away, let me sleep for the love of God!" – The last morning of the sales trip, Richard leaves the motel room to get breakfast. When he comes back to the room, he knocks on the door, waking Tommy up. Tommy shouts this quote after Richard pretends to be the housekeeper.
  7. "That's when the whores come in." – At a Callahan Auto Parts board meeting, one of the executives describes what will happen to the town's economy if the plant closes. An older female executive chimes in with this Tommy Boy quote. It's later revealed that her husband visited a prostitute once 50 years earlier.
  8. "Wha the American public doesn't know is what makes them the American public." – When the sales trip fails, Tommy seeks out Ron Zalinsky (Dan Akroyd), a prominent auto parts manufacturer for help. He finds Zalinsky to be a greedy jerk, despite his image as a friendly business owner. Zalinsky cements this impression with this quote from Tommy Boy.
  9. "I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem." – Tommy falls in love with Michelle, an order processor at the plant. When she offers him a doughnut, he declines, responding with this quote.
  10. "You're a smug, unhappy little man and you treat people like they were idiots." – Richard is determined to prove that he is a better salesman than Tommy. He fails miserably when his attempt to charm a customer is greeted with this response. Tommy fares no better during his pitch, though, and ends up pulling his hair out and shouting profanity at the client.

- Selena Robinson

COMMENTS

  1. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Gstrickland46

    Richard….who’s your favorite Little Rascal? Alfalfa?…..or Spanky?!?!?


  2. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Shana

    “BEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!”


  3. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Ddog55

    I think your brain has a thick candy shell on it.


  4. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    NickMuratore

    We’re gonna show this world a thing or two!  We’re gonna show…  SLAM!!


  5. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    NickMuratore

    We’re gonna show this world a thing or two!  We’re gonna show…  SLAM!!


  6. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    NickMuratore

    We’re gonna show this world a thing or two!  We’re gonna show…  SLAM!!


  7. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Tanner Schmidt

    Brothers don’t shake hands, brothers gotta hug!


  8. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Satt1985

    HHOOOLLLYYY SHHNNIKKEEEYYSS!!! IT WORKED!!!!


  9. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Kimba

    Dont you remember ya told me you love me baby….


  10. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    tom stevens

    It’s not Richard he goes cow tipping with it’s his step brother played by Rob Lowe. Type your comment here.


  11. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Nicolemccluskey

    And if you don’t know how to work a seat belt I will send Tommy back there to hit you over the head with a tack hammer because you are a retard.


  12. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Nicolemccluskey

    “Tommy likey, Tommy want wingy!”

    “here’s Jojo the amazing circus clown and his pretty little pet!”

    “here comes the meat wagon- WEEEEOOOOOOWEEEEOOOO”

    “Helen? You look like a Helen”

    “your dad could sell a ketchup Popsicle to a woman in white gloves”

    “quit playing with your dingy!”

    I could go on for hours


  13. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Nicolemccluskey

    It’s not John Hancock it’s Herbie Hancock


  14. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Jaymee

    It doesnt hurt right here…or here, but right right here


  15. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Gcdgrafix

    “It doesn’t hurt so much here or here, but right here…. is there a mark?”


  16. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Humorfix

    What’d you do?


  17. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Sctoons

    I can look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull’s a$$ but I’d rather take the butcher’s word for it.


  18. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Humorfix

    It doesn’t hurt so much here, or here, but right here.


  19. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Humorfix

    Did eat paint chips as a kid?


  20. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Humorfix

    Luuuuke….Luuuuke, I am your father.


  21. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Busymissyk

    Richard are you watching spanktrovision?


  22. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    hannahballectr

    you are missing a lot of the best quotes….”tommy want wingy” ….”I know where you live and I’ve seen where you sleep and i swear on everything holy your mother will cry when she sees what I’ve done to you”


  23. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Snot95

    Did I catch a niner in there? Were you calling from a walkie talkie?

    And Just a shade under a decade too, alright

    If you want me to take a crap in a box and mark it guaranteed I will, I have spare time.


  24. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Newcareeropp

    “NEED A LITTLE WIND HERE!”

    “TOMMY’S A SCORPIO AND HE’S NEVER BEEN LAID…”

    “IT’S GOTTA BE YOUR BULL…”

    “I GOTTA  D+!!!!!! I’M GONNA GRADUATE!!!!”


  25. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Dennymcdonnell

    Don’t tell her about my hair………let it go.

    Hold me Richard……….yikes.

    Your a lucky man Tom, boy would I like to get me some of that.
    Gimme that camera you little prick………it’ll cost you!


  26. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Mikey1977rip

    Hi, I’m Earth, Have we met?
          I don’t think so…


  27. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Mikey1977rip

    What ‘er we having tonight chicken, or … chicken


  28. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Mikey1977rip

    Alright, listen up, this will only take a second….


  29. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Big Fan

    “Do you know where the weight room is?  I’ll check it out”


  30. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Big Fan

    “I was just checking out the specs on the end-line here.”


  31. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Big Fan

    “Do you take dead animals to the vet?”


  32. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Nicolemccluskey

    Tommy likey Tommy want wingy

    Your dad could sell a ketchup Popsicle to a woman in white gloves

    Richard, what’s happening?

    Quit playing with your dingy!!

    I know where you live and I’ve seen where you sleep! I swear on everything holy your mothers will cry when they’ve seen what I’ve done to you!!

    Good job pinpointing it, the next step is washing it off


  33. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Kristi Jo

    That’s gonna leave a mark.


  34. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Allie Coronado

    Did I catch a niner in there? Were you calling from a walkie talkie?


  35. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Jrust769

    What’d you do??

    I’m a maniac, maniac on..the floor…


  36. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Emineminy

    “I cant stop! oh there’s a cliff! And your family’s screaming ‘oh my god we’re burning alive! No I can’t feel my legs!’ Here comes the meat wagon! And the medic gets out and hes like ‘Oh my god…’ New guys is the corner puking his guts out *retches* All because you wanted to save a few extra pennies. haha”

    “Could’ve done without that…”

    “Life preservers, these we may need. Although what are the odds of us hitting a lake? My money says if anything it’s gonna be a mountain.”

    “Don’t you remember you told me you loved me baby”


  37. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Emineminy

    “I cant stop! oh there’s a cliff! And your family’s screaming ‘oh my god we’re burning alive! No I can’t feel my legs!’ Here comes the meat wagon! And the medic gets out and hes like ‘Oh my god…’ New guys is the corner puking his guts out *retches* All because you wanted to save a few extra pennies. haha”

    “Could’ve done without that…”

    “Life preservers, these we may need. Although what are the odds of us hitting a lake? My money says if anything it’s gonna be a mountain.”

    “Don’t you remember you told me you loved me baby”


  38. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Emineminy

    “I cant stop! oh there’s a cliff! And your family’s screaming ‘oh my god we’re burning alive! No I can’t feel my legs!’ Here comes the meat wagon! And the medic gets out and hes like ‘Oh my god…’ New guys is the corner puking his guts out *retches* All because you wanted to save a few extra pennies. haha”

    “Could’ve done without that…”

    “Life preservers, these we may need. Although what are the odds of us hitting a lake? My money says if anything it’s gonna be a mountain.”

    “Don’t you remember you told me you loved me baby”


  39. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Cjvrdrhook

    “Housekeeping”!!!! You want extra pillow?
    “Housekeeping”!!! You want me to jerk you off?


  40. July 28, 2011 9:22 pm

    Maltpeter

    Tommy: Does this suit make me look fat?

    Richard: No. Your face does.