Take a Bite Out of these Quotes From Mean Girls

Sunday, October 9 by Joe Terzio

Mean Girls

Much to the disappointment of Gretchen Wieners, “fetch” may have never caught on, but plenty of other quotes from “Mean Girls” did. A surprise hit in 2004, the film starred Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Lacey Chabert, Amanda Seyfried and Tina Fey (who also wrote the screenplay).  The eminently quotable film earned a surprising $130 million worldwide and, ironically, helped launch the careers of McAdams and Seyfried as bigger stars while Lohan began her spiral into oblivion soon thereafter. Now, it’s on to the best quotes from “Mean Girls.”

“I know, right?” – This repeated line was head Plastic Regina’s trademark saying that turned into a catchphrase from the movie. It may have only been cool for about six months, but saying or texting “I know, right?” was very much in style in 2004 thanks to “Mean Girls.”

“Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, promise? Okay, everybody take some rubbers.” – Said by Coach Carr in health class at Cady’s first day at school. Cady never heard the sage advice since she ditched class to be with Damian and Janis. Hasn’t everyone had a gym teacher for health class, though?

“I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when I met him.” This “Mean Girls” quote was made by Regina George after her boyfriend, Aaron, dumped her when he found out she was cheating on him. Cady blurted out the cheating after she had just kissed Aaron during a math tutoring session (which she didn’t need) and Aaron said that he couldn’t continue since it wouldn’t be fair to Regina. Next, we cut to a crying Regina in her enormous bedroom being consoled by the rest of the Plastics as she utters the above line.

“Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!” This is probably the best monologue from the film as insecure rich girl Gretchen Wieners finally cracks under pressure applied by Cady to turn Gretchen against Regina by making her think Regina thinks of Cady as a better friend instead of her. This all comes to a boiling point after the Christmas talent show where Regina lashes out at Gretchen telling her that “fetch” is not going to happen. We cut to history class and Gretchen lets loose the above diatribe, a thinly veiled jealous attack on Regina, as she reads her paper about Caesar to the class.

“So, if you’re from Africa, why are you white?” A bewildered Karen asks Cady this after Regina invites Cady to join them at the Plastics’ lunch table early in the movie. Cady informed them that she is new to the school and this is because she had lived and was homeschooled in Africa. This concept appears to be beyond Karen’s comprehension and leads to one of the great quotes from “Mean Girls.” This, and “It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain,” cement Karen’s position of as one of the most totally dumb blondes in movie history.

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