Spaceballs Quotes

Saturday, April 23 by Edward Swanson

 It is not difficult to find funny “Spaceballs” quotes. The 1987 movie, written and directed by Mel Brooks, is chock full of memorable lines and humorous visuals.  The story revolves around Planet Spaceball’s attempted theft of Planet Druidia’s air. Along the way, Princess Vespa runs from a wedding, escapes Dark Helmut and falls for her hero Lone Star. A spoof on “Star Wars,” the film has become a cult classic.   

   

  1.  “Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful.” President Skroob feels uncertain about their technology. Comanderette Zarican tells Skroob that their technology is safe. While many "Spaceballs" quotes refer to "Star Wars," this line makes viewers think of "Star Trek."
  2. “It’s either the 4th of July, or someone is trying to kill us.” Dot Matrix comments on how their car ship is under attack by Spaceball’s crew. Dark Helmut says he will fire a shot across her nose. In response to the attack,  Princess Vespa proclaims how much money she has and calls her father.
  3. “I've lost the bleeps, I've the lost the sweeps, and I've lost the creeps.” The radar technician explains the effects of his malfunctioning radar on Dark Helmut. Lone Star has jammed the radar in an effort to rescue the princess. The radar technician must make sound effects after Dark Helmut complains that he does not understand him.
  4. “I'm a mog. Half-man, half-dog. I'm my own best friend.” Barf, Lone Star’s companion, introduces himself to Princess Vespa after she opens the roof to her Mercedes. When he says his name, she tells him that he must not vomit in the car. This line is one of the funnier "Spaceballs" quotes.
  5. “Those flashing eyes. Those flushed cheeks. Those trembling lips. You know something princess, you are ugly when you're angry.” Lone Star says this line during an argument with Princess Vespa. She becomes angry that he will not carry her hair dryer after they have crashed their car ship in a dune. This is one of those "Spaceball" quotes that makes their love/hate relationship apparent.
  6. “Silence! Who dares enter the sacred and awesome presence of the everlasting know-it-all, Yogurt.” A short man who lives in a statue, Yogurt introduces Princess Vespa, Lone Star and Barf to the world of merchandising. He tells the gang not to make such a big deal about meeting him since he is just plain yogurt. This scene pokes fun at Yoda in "Star Wars."
  7. “May The Schwartz be with you.” The Schwartz is a magical force, similar to the Force in the Star Wars film series. Yogurt teaches Lone Star about The Schwartz through lifting a huge statue with his Schwartz ring. This "Spaceballs" quote is a take-off of the famous "Star Wars" line, "May the force be with you."
  8. “God willing we'll all meet again in Spaceballs II: The Search for More Money. Good-bye, Lone Starr.” Yogurt bids Lone Star adieu after Vespa has been kidnapped by Helmet. It is Yogurt's way of wishing Lone Star luck. Mel Brooks has many  "Spaceballs" quotes that provide commentary on the success of "Star Wars."
  9. “Oh my gosh. It's not just a spaceship. It's a transformer.” Barf tells the others how the Spaceball ship changes into a giant maid with a vacuum cleaner. It tries to suck all the air out of Planet Druidia. This "Spaceballs" quote refer to the popular 1980's toy, Transformers.
  10.  “You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.” Helmut acknowledges Lone Star’s Schwartz ring. The green light, similar to a light saber's beam, works when the characters put their hands near their crotch. "Spaceballs" quotes often depend upon double entendres. 
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