Pineapple Express Quotes

Thursday, April 14 by Lee Grayson

The "Pineapple Express" quotes give an idea of the goofy nature of this film that stars Seth Rogen and James Franco. David Gordon Green takes on the directorial duties. The title refers to a primo strain of marijuana, and the plot traces the exploits of a process server who has the unfortunate experience of witnessing a murder. If that wasn't bad luck enough, the murder involved a representative of the local police force. There are certainly enough plot twists to carry this slapstick, comic vehicle filled with sight gags and pot head humor. A good time is had by all. 

  1. "Today's my cat's birthday." Red, played by Danny McBride, says this quote to nobody before he passes out. This quote typifies the tongue-in-cheek humor of this film. Non-sequiturs fly right and left as the main characters present lines such as this one with straight faces. One has to wonder how many takes it took to say this quote. 
  2. "Has anyone seen my bigger knife?" Ted Jones, played by Gary Cole. It's hard to describe the goofy lines in this film, but this one is a classic quote. Hell bent to take a knife, Cole's character wants to make a statement with the largest possibl weapon
  3. "Angie, you're a %$*@ idiot. I say that with love." Robert, played by Ed Begley, Jr., to Angie, played by Amber Heard. There is more bold irony here with love and cussing combined to let someone know they're not thinking clearly. 
  4. "You're in the jungle now, Baby!" Saul, played by James Franco, before punching Carol directly in the face. Saul is not someone who you'd classify as a gentleman, and the fact that he punches a woman in the face is not the lowest he'd stoop. 
  5. "You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos." More irony with fact from Red. The catch here the audience should pick up on is that if your death is by a car, it should be something more high brow than a Daewoo. The double irony is that Red would think of this even when faced with mortality. 
  6. "The monkey's out of the bottle now!" Saul to Dale Denton in the "Pineapple Express." After Saul contributes what he thinks is a common expression, Dale says, "That's not even a figure of speech!" The "Pineapple Express" challenges all decorum as you can see from this quote, including common expressions such as letting a genie out of the bottle. 
  7. "It's almost a shame to smoke it. Its like killing a unicorn…" Saul to Dale Denton. The two are discussion rare marijuana and the option of smoking it or saving it for posterity. The "Pineapple Express" is a film designed for an audience of pot heads and this quote never fails to bring a howl from the loyal, who of course, expect the rare gem to meet the match!
  8. "So boring, man! The car just committed suicide." Saul to Dale Denton. Saul urges Dale to start the car to get the couple out of the area, but the battery is dead because Saul drained it listening to talk radio during the night. Unable to grasp the situation, Saul puts the situation in his own words in this quote. 
  9. "I feel like a slice of butter melting on top of a big-ol' pile of flapjacks." Private Miller, played by Bill Hader, to the Scientist. Miller is smoking weed as part of a scientific experiment in the "Pineapple Express." Miller makes this unscientific assessment of the situation after the scientist tells him he's been smoking for seven minutes and thirteen seconds. 
  10. "I came up with two ideas. Nowhere and Quizno's." Saul to Dale Denton. The irony here is that Saul doesn't have a real plan to deal with the deadly situation and instead jokes about getting a sandwich. The added irony is, he's serious about the sandwich!

- Lee Grayson