‘Knocked Up’ Quotes

Tuesday, August 16 by Andrew Jett

“Knocked Up” quotes are some of the funniest of any Judd Apatow movie. First hitting theaters in 2007, “Knocked Up” tells the story of a slacker who impregnates an up-and-coming TV personality. Full of humor, heart, and witty dialogue, the movie’s quotes offer a memorable take on a unique plot.

“We decided that, we want you to be on camera.” – Jack Katherine Heigl’s character Alison works for the E! channel. In the “Knocked Up” quote that sets the plot in motion, Alison’s boss, Jack, informs her that she’ll be an on-air host.

“I’m sorry I’m sweating on you.” – Ben Stone As a career loafer, Seth Rogen’s character doesn’t have much to offer Alison, but the two hit it off when they meet during Alison’s celebratory night out. Alison and Ben end up spending the night together, leading to this “Knocked Up” quote during an awkward one-night-stand.

“He’s playing fetch…with my kids.” – Debbie When Ben first meets Alison’s sister Debbie, she’s not impressed. Ben isn’t quite sure how to act around Debbie’s children, so he involves them in a game of fetch. The opinionated Debbie makes her feelings known in this “Knocked Up” quote.

“Hey, Crockett. How’s Tubbs doing?” – Jonah One series of “Knocked Up” quotes revolves around a side-plot involving Ben’s friends. Jonah Hill plays his namesake in the movie, a wise-cracking slacker who takes multiple jabs at his friend Martin’s odd-looking beard throughout the film.

“Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of ‘Everybody Loves Raymond.’” – Pete As Debbie’s husband Pete Paul Rudd is a downtrodden father who gives marriage and fatherhood advice to Ben. His unfulfilled life comes out in his “Knocked Up” quotes, exposing his bleak outlook on Ben’s impending future.

“I’m going to murderball you!” – Jonah With plenty of petty bickering among Ben’s friends, there’s no shortage of mean-spirited “Knocked Up” quotes. This line may make Jonah seem cruel, but the more tender-hearted scenes in the movie show his true affection for his friends.

“Life doesn’t care about your vision. You just gotta roll with it.” – Ben’s Dad The legendary Harold Ramis appears in “Knocked Up” as Ben’s Dad. He offers some of the movie’s most insightful quotes, including this line from a heart-to-heart conversation with his son.

“You think because you don't yell, you're not mean. This is mean.” – Debbie Pete and Debbie’s marriage seems to be on the verge of collapse throughout “Knocked Up.” Debbie unleashes this quote during one of their many squabbles, giving Pete ample fodder for reflection.

“Your face looks like Robin Williams’ knuckles” – Ben Stone Even Ben can’t resist teasing Martin about his beard. This “Knocked Up” quote might require a moment’s thought, but once the mental picture takes hold, it leaves quite an impression.

“Granted, gynecology is only a hobby of mine, but it sounds to me like she's crowning.” – Jason At the climax of “Knocked Up,” Ben and Alison’s child is born during a hectic hospital scene. Jason Segel plays one of Ben’s friends, and he makes this gross-sounding quote while awaiting the outcome of the birthing process.

-Andrew Jett

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