Funniest Movie Quotes Ever

Tuesday, August 9 by D. Michaels

Sure everyone going to see a good movie every once in a while, but what folks really want is the comedic staying power of the funniest movie quotes ever. In fact, some people even have their favorite lists of funniest movie quotes ever. Not us, though. We’re not really into that kind of thing.

  1. “We’re going to need some more FBI guys” (“Die Hard”). It’s arguably one of the funniest movie quotes ever best lines in the whole movie and a great example of a funny line from action movies. It’s said by Deputy Police Chief Dwayne T. Robinson (Paul Gleason), the somewhat hapless bureaucrat,  as he watches several FBI agents get literally blown out of the sky as they attempt a hostile rescue attempt of hostages at a bank robbery.
  2. “Yippee-ki-yay, Mother F***er!” (“Die Hard”). Yep, it’s from the same movie, but this one was so full of great one-liners that they just can’t be ignored. Bruce Willis first uttered one of the funniest movie quotes in the first of his four outings as Det. John McClain. He said it to the villain’s bad guy, Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman), a renegade German terrorist who was planning on a robbing a corporation of its money and financial holdings. The line comes as Gruber and McClain are talking via walkie-talkie about what kind of hero McClain thinks he is.
  3. “I'm Bruce Nolan for Eyewitness News. Back to you, fuckers!” ("Bruce Almighty").  Jim Carrey’s unique take on a man who meets God all starts with this little meltdown that makes up one of the funniest movie quotes ever. His character is having a meltdown live on-air after hearing that he did not get a promotion that he wanted very badly.
  4. “Say hello to my little friend.” (“Scarface”). Everyone who likes great films knows this as one of the funniest movie quotes ever. It comes from Tony Montana a.k.a. Scarface (Al Pacino) in this Brian De Palma remake of the 1932 James Cagney classic. At this point, Montana’s mansion has been invaded by assassins who have orders to kill him. Montana has seen his guards all killed and his sister riddled with bullets. In his final act of revenge his pulls out a fully-loaded M-16 and starts shooting at everything that moves.
  5. “First you want to kill me, now you want to kiss me. Blow.” (“Army of Darkness”). Ash (Bruce Campbell) is a great classic character from the films that he and director Sam Raimi have created together in part because they are so willing to have fun with what they are doing. It shouldn’t be a surprise that the third installment in the “Evil Dead” series is full of some of the funniest movie quotes ever. This line is in reference to the lead female character Shelia (Embeth Davidtz), who has suddenl taken a liking to him.
  6. “Shoot this mother f***er!” (“Wanted”). It’s not often audiences get to hear Morgan Freeman start ripping some serious curse words, but that’s what makes this one of the funniest movie quotes ever. Morgan’s character Sloan has decided to take some matters into his own hands and orders a hit on one of his own.
  7. Elizabeth Swann: “There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.” Jack Sparrow: “I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.” (“Pirates of the Carribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”). Johnny Depp’s portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow has already become a classic in part because of all of his funny lines he utters. One of the funniest movie quotes ever happened when Elizabeth (Keira Knightly) tried to encourage Jack to embrace his better instincts only to be told he’s not on speaking terms with them.

-Mark Dodson

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