Funniest Movie One Liners

Tuesday, August 2 by Ryanick Paige

Some of the best things on television come from the funniest movie one liners. These one liners are often funnier than a longer story with a punch line. Just one quick sentence and your slight chuckle is turning into a full blown laugh with these funniest movie one liners.

  1. "This definitely rates about 9.0 on my weird shit-o-meter.” Agent J from "Men in Black" Will Smith gave this funny movie one liner a life of its own. With all the strange aliens running around, this was a more than fitting statement for the movie.

  2. I'm going to barbcue your ass in molasses.” Sheriff Buford T. Justice fromSmokey and the Bandit” He comes up with some fantastic one liners, but this was one of the best.

  3. You know, you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy.” Mike Lowry from “Bad Boys” The writers surely hit the nail on the head with the script with these great movie one liners. The dialogue is perfect and the choice of aligning these two actors to work side by side was brilliant.

  4. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?" Clark Grisswald from “The National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation” Clark freaks out when he finds out that the company didn't give Christmas bonuses after he put a down payment on a swimming pool to surprise his family.

  5. I'm goin' I'm goin'! I got the metal to the petal and the thing to the floor!" Carrie from “Smokey and the Bandit” Carrie said this one liner when they were trying to get away from the sheriff. This movie was packed full of funny movie one liners and it was truly difficult to pick out only the best ones.