Clerks Quotes

Tuesday, July 26 by Shawn Lealos

Kevin Smith’s breakthrough movie is the independent film "Clerks", and "Clerks" quotes range from hilarious to obscene. It is these quotes that make the movie as endearing and popular as it is over fifteen years after its release. The movie tells the story of two clerks, Dante in a convenience store and Randal in a video store, and all the ridiculous situations they witness throughout the day.

  1. Jay tells Dante that Veronica is a good girlfriend – Dante is considering going back to his ex-girlfriend Caitlin and the local drug dealer Jay can’t believe it. His quote when witnessing this is that while Caitlin is hot, Veronica brings him food. Silent Bob delivers the classic "Clerks" quote, “You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.”
  2. Dante Hicks explains his problems – While Dante goes through the day at the convenience store, everything that can go wrong does. His "Clerks" quote when dealing with this is simply “I'm not even supposed to be here today.”
  3. Randal gets sick of Dante’s whining – Dante continues to complain about being at work and Randal finally loses it. He calls out Dante for being a jerk. His "Clerks" quote when wrapping up his rebuttal is “That guy Jay's got it right, man. He has no delusions about what he does.”
  4. Randal and Dante debate “Star Wars” – Randal asks Dante what his favorite “Star Wars” movie is and Dante chooses “The Empire Strikes Back.” When Randal wants an explanation, Dante explains the downer ending and says “That's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.”
  5. Randal gives his opinion of his job – When discussing the stupid people they deal with every day at their respective jobs, Randal looks at Dante and gives the classic "Clerks" quote, “This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.”
  6. Randal explaining to Dante why Empire Strikes Back is bad – Dante and Randal are discussing “The Empire Strikes Back” and Randal explains that, when they blow up the new Death Star, it is still being built, killing innocent construction workers. “You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.”
  7. Dante and Randal’s impression of certain people – When Dante arrives at work, the locks have gum jammed in them and someone spray painted obscenities on the windows. There's only one thing to say about it: “Bunch of savages in this town.”

-Shawn Lealos

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