Billy Madison Quotes

Tuesday, August 9 by Courtney Ferry

If you are in search of "Billy Madison" quotes, look no further. We've got the best list of quotes from the film right here. "Billy Madison" is a humorous 1995 comedy starring Adam Sandler as a man who goes back to school as a grown man to prove to his father that he isn't an idiot and that he is capable of running his company. Below are some of the most memorable quotes from the film. 

  1. "It's too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin' around here. I gotta send him back to the South Pole." If you've seen "Billy Madison", you'll know that the main character, Billy, is always seeing an imaginary penguin that isn't really there. This hilarious line is one that has us laughing for hours after the film ends.

  2. "I am the smartest man alive!" Billy Madison shouts this quote after winning a second-grade spelling bee during class. And let's face it, Billy did look pretty smart when he spelled "couch" the right way. 

  3. "When I graduated first grade, all my dad did was tell me to get a job." Billy's friend Frank says this after seeing the insanely huge party Billy's father throws for him after he graduates the first grade. 

  4. "Don't tell me my business Devil Woman. Call the fire department, this one's outta control." Old Man Clemens recites this hilarious line after finding a bag of poop on fire on his front porch. Billy and his friends can be seen laughing in the bushes at the angry old man. 

  5. "Chlorophyll? More like BOREophyll." Another hilarious quote from "Billy Madison," Billy shouts this to his chemistry teacher in high school classroom. Unfortunately, his teacher and the other students don't think he's that funny, and respond with dirty looks. 

  6. "Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I would have enjoyed them with you." Billy Madison's rival and competition for his father's company, Eric, says this line to Carl. No one really likes Eric or his weasel laugh, but this line has us laughing hysterically. 

  7. "Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?" Billy's good friend Frank asks Billy this as they are sitting around, and Billy responds with, "Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?" He ends up choosing Meg Ryan.