Funny Lines From Action Movies

Wednesday, August 3 by D. Michaels

It’s not a big secret to say that we love all kinds of lists, but one of our favorites are the funniest movie quotes ever. Movies are just such a great way to kill some time and escape the doldrums of the work week and nothing puts a smile on our face like a great cast who can be funny and make us laugh. Here are some of the best lines we ever heard in a movie.

  1. “Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.” –“Monty Python and the Holy Grail” Even after all this time, this line from Monty Python’s parody of the Arthur legend is one of the funniest movie quotes ever. It’s said by a peasant to King Arthur after he attempts to explain why he is the leader of the country even though there has been no election.
  2. “I’ll have what she’s having.” “When Harry Met Sally” Meg Ryan’s fake orgasm in this movie is now a classic scene in film history, but the funniest movie quote comes right after her ‘performance’ when an older woman, thinking that the orgasm was caused by Ryan’s sandwich, wants a little of her own.
  3. “Big bottoms, big bottoms, talk about mudflaps, my girls got ‘em.”   “Spinal Tap” Rob Reiner’s mockumentary of (fake) rock legends Spinal Tap is still a must-see if for no other reason that the funniest movie quote about which is an actual lyric from one of their songs.
  4.  “Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive.” “Airplane” Like “Blazing Saddles”, “Airplane” is now known for its incredibly political incorrect humor and home to some of the funniest movie quotes ever, just like this one where TV legend Barbara Billingsly, the epitome of white bread moms, attempts to help a stewardess translate two black men who only seem to speak in slang.
  5. “I was born a poor black child.” – “The Jerk”. The funniest movie quote in Steve Martin’s film debut is the very first one when he attempts to explain his character’s very screwed up self-image issues.
  6. “Ray, next time someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!”   “Ghostbusters” The funniest movie quote of this Bill Murray classic comes right after the film’s main villain asks them if they are on her level and Ray (Dan Aykroyd), being perpetually honest tell her no and is blasted nearly to death for his answer.
  7. Striker: "Surely you can't be serious?!" Rumack: "I am serious… and don't call me Shirley."   “Airplane” This one quite possibly stands as the single funniest movie quote ever by the late Leslie Neilson, who took dead pan humor to an art form. It’s still hard to find a single line of his in this movie that won’t have fans rolling in the aisles.
  8. Jim: [consoling Bart] “What did you expect? “Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.” – “Blazing Saddles” In the 1970’s there was no greater writer than Mel Brooks at spoofing Hollywood culture and this film may be his best. It also might be why this movie keeps cropping up on lists that mention the not to mention the funniest movie quotes ever. The above quote comes from the Jewish cowboy legend The Cisco Kid (Gene Wilder) as he tries to comfort the new town sheriff (Cleavon Little) who is having trouble winning over the locals because he’s a black man.
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