Kevin James stars in a gritty crime drama full of action, romance and important social commentary. Nah, just kidding. It’s a slapstick comedy Paul Blart is shy, chubby mall security guard who has to take on the element of organized crime that has taken over his precious shopping center. It sounds like a good fit to me, since every mall security guard I have ever met (run from) has been an overweight, middle-aged man.

Studio: Columbia Pictures

Rating: TBA

Release date: 1/16/2009