Bittersweet innocence mixed with manic man-child commentary is the best way to describe these Zach Galifianakis quotes. The bearded laugh master from hit movies such as "The Hangover" and "Due Date" has the formula to transform eccentric observations into mainstream attention. Make sure you are sitting - but not driving - and enjoy these Zach Galifianakis Quotes.

  1. "When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese." Self-depreciating humor is always a good direction because who doesn't mind laughing at someone making fun of their self? This quote from Zach Galifianakis helps define his fairly humble "every-man" persona. Any guy that is willing to admit he looks like a child molester is pretty capable of being honest with him self.

  2. "My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings." This Zach Galifianakis quote builds up to a terrific punch line at the end. The ADD/Ford Focus joke was already in itself funny. It is clever but also has enough randomness to sound like it just came out in normal conversation.

  3. "I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy." This ironic quote from comedian Zach Galifianakis sounds like it is going to have anyone that is currently dieting upset, while trying not to laugh. Galifianakis has a gift for word association. He executed this quote extremely well in his comedic act. 

  4. "You know you're an alcoholic when the bartender knows your name ... and you've never been to that bar before." This sounds like the perfect set-up to an increasingly hilarious story about intoxication. Zach Galifianakis executes this quote in a way that makes you consider all the people you know that fit this description. You may laugh even harder if you know that you fit this description.

  5. "My sister was recently diagnosed with multiple personalities ... yesterday she called me ... my caller ID exploded." The fact that this joke ends with such an over-the-top exaggeration adds to its charm. Zach Galifianakis has the ability to say something that is super silly and remain engaging without being annoying. This quote manages to tell a story that you can envision clearly.