Poop Jokes From A Pretty Girl: 6 Sarah Silverman Quotes

Tuesday, November 29 by Leah Kayajanian

<a href='http://www.screenjunkies.com/tag/sarah-silverman-1/' class='linkify' target='_blank'>Sarah Silverman</a> <a href='http://www.screenjunkies.com/tag/quotes/' class='linkify' target='_blank'>Quotes</a>” src=”http://media1.break.com/breakstudios/2011/11/3/sarah silverman.jpg” /></p>
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	Sarah Silverman has a pretty smile, <a href='http://www.screenjunkies.com/tag/beautiful/' class='linkify' target='_blank'>beautiful</a> full lips, long dark hair, and a penchant for being unnecessarily graphic, offensive, and disgusting. Watching Silverman's act is like watching a labrador puppy rape a bunny rabbit – you feel weird about it, but it's just so adorable. Silverman is best known for her brand of comedy, which storms past all the superficial boundaries and taboos that people don't talk about in real life. Throughout her 2005 stand-up special, "Jesus is Magic," and in her <a href='http://www.screenjunkies.com/tag/comedy-central-538/' class='linkify' target='_blank'>Comedy Central</a> show, "The Sarah Silverman Program,"  Silverman's onstage persona is a selfish, unabashed, ignorant, and at the same time, very childlike character who says terrible things about race, gender, sex, religion, abortion, rape, AIDS, and, of course, <a href=poop. She gets away with it because she's talented, she's funny, she's smart, and, well, she's cute. She's the cute girl comic that says terrible things, and it works for her. The following six out-of-context Sarah Silverman quotes will give you a special glimpse into just how much vulgarity you can get away with when you're pretty.

   

 

"The Poop Song" – I just tried to be like the others / But I pooped instead / I tried to join in with my brothers / I pooped instead / And I wish it never happened, that's what I wish / And I also wish so many things. This line from "The Sarah Silverman Program" comes from a song about pooping your pants. Picture Silverman singing it in a little kid voice, flashing her dazzling smile between lines.

"I know all this crap is what I should expect when I chose to build a career on shock and profanity, but since I’ve got this book, I’m going to try to get the message out: I’m not interested in seeing pictures of anyone’s bowel movements. The two exceptions would be (1) Clive Owen’s, for obvious reasons; and (2) Nelson Mandela’s, because his life has just been such an incredibly rich journey. This quote is from "Bedwetter," Silverman's autobiography. Writing a song about poop is ridiculous. Having to ask your audience to please stop sending pictures of poop is even more hilarious. Silverman has reached a point in her career where she feels she needs to seriously address the "poop" issue because some members of her fanbase feel a connection with her when they see a good-sized turd. How awesome is that?

Sarah Silverman Quotes Penis

"Yesterday, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis, and I thought, 'Oh my God, I'm turning into my mother.'" This line from "Jesus is Magic" is pretty self explanatory.

"There are only two Asian people that I know that I have any problem with at all. One is, uh, Guy Aoki. The other is my friend Steve who actually went pee-pee in my Coke. He's all, 'Me Chinese, me play joke!' Uh, if you have to explain it, Steve, it's not funny! In this second installment from "Jesus is Magic," Silverman offers this as a partial explanation of her run-in with Guy Aoki, the head of the Media Action Network for Asian Americans, who admonished her for saying the word "chink" in a TV stand-up appearance.

Sarah Silverman Quotes Natural

"He's, like, trying to sell me on it being natural. I'm like, 'Um, first of all – doody comes out of there, ok? And second of all – f***ing doody comes out of there.' I don't need two reasons when doody's involved." In this line, also from "Jesus is Magic," Silverman explains why she will never have anal sex, and then immediately realizes that she's saying this to a gay man, who always has anal sex.

"Oh God please let them find semen in my dead grandmother's vagina." This punchline from "Jesus is Magic" almost sounds like Silverman wrote it on a dare in response to someone saying, "find a way to say this onstage, Sarah." She does, and the crowd is with her! An admirable feat for any comedian.