Dave Chappelle Quotes
Throughout his career comedian Dave Chappelle has never feared to speak his mind and Dave Chappelle quotes are repeated across the world. From his movies, to his comedy specials, to his eponymous television show he has given us countless Dave Chappelle quotes to laugh at and think about.
[speaking to elementary school class as Tyrone Biggums] “Drugs is all around you kids. Look at that magic marker cap. What the hell you think that is, some kind of crayon? Take it off and sniff it and get high.” Tyrone Biggums never claimed to be a role model; why is he talking to these kids in the first place?
“I'm Rick James, bitch!” This is one of the most popular Dave Chappelle quotes of all time and brought Rick James to the attention of a new generation of fans.
“I’m rich bitch!” This Dave Chappelle quote is also his catchphrase and you are liable to hear him scream it out randomly.
“I'm Dave Chappelle, and I like internet porn." Thanks for sharing Dave. There is such simplicity in this quote, and that's why it has become so popular.
“You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.” When asked about his popularity Dave had this rather insightful comment.
“I don't know where AIDS comes from. Who the fuck knows? Scientists don't even know. Scientists still say AIDS started cause somebody had sex with a monkey. Word. After all this research, the best explanation that you came up with. Nobody fucks monkeys and people, you idiot. You either fuck monkeys OR you fuck people. That’s it. There's no in-between.” If you're not a big Dave Chappelle fan this Dave Chappelle quote will give you a good idea of the type of stuff he is liable to say.
“You ever watch a cartoon you use to watch when you were little as an adult? Some wild shit! I was with my nephew we're sitting there watching Pepe Le Pew and I say to my nephew ‘Now pay attention to this guy because he's funny. I use to watch him when I was little.’ And we're watching Pepe Le Pew when I'm old now and I'm like Ohhh god! What kind of fucking rapist is this guy?!? Take it easy! My nephew was sitting there cracking up He he he he... ‘See some times you gotta take the pussy like Pepe!’ ...I was like, No no!” Dave worries about his nephew watching Pepe while parents worry about their kids watching Dave.
[Speaking about Richard Pryor] “Any comic working in America, whether they know it or not, has been influenced by what he’s done.” This Dave Chappelle quote pays homage to one of the greatest comedians of all time and lets us know who Dave considers a role model.
[As Clayton Bigsby] ”Then Jasper said ‘Look here, nigger, if anyone's gonna have sex with my sister, it's gonna be ME.’” Dave has said this is one of his favorite skits and Clayton Bigsby is one of his most memorable characters.
Dave: Hey everybody, I got an announcement to make. Ding, ding, ding. I quit. Kiss my ass everybody. Excuse me. Can I have a quick word with you? Uh, kiss my ass. Could you type a memo of that and send it around? I quit. Co-worker: Dave, what’s gotten into you? Dave: Oh Sally, it’s not what’s gotten into me. It’s what’s gotten into Oprah. My seed son! I’m rich bitch." When Dave learns that Oprah Winfrey is pregnant with his child he can't wait to share the good news with his co-workers.