Not everyone can have the a thick, lustrous moustache like god-among men Burt "F#cking" Reynolds. Even with his 'stache half shaved off, Burt looks like a champ. You're looking at the gorgeous mane of hair growing on his upper lip, not his hairpiece. That's where it really counts.

But some men feel no shame when going on television or the silver screen with a moustache that a 12-year-old boy would be ashamed to rock. We're posting these as a warning, gents. Remember, when you rock the mo' to honor those who have gone before you, don't end up looking like these clowns.

But before you read about our picks for the worst moustaches, take a look at this comprehensive video of movie moustaches and judge for yourself. And while you're at it, if you haven't signed up for Movember, what the hell are you waiting for? Click the following link and head over to Break's Movember page and do your part to fight prostate and testicular cancer.

Now, on with the bad 'staches!

Leonardo DiCaprio (The Aviator)

It's pretty sad when you're looking scarier than the real Howard Hughes. That's exactly what Leo does toward the end of The Aviator. The moustache growing on his face like some kind of blond caterpillar expresses the existential angst many fair-haired men feel when it comes time for Movember. The dude looks pretty fly throughout the rest of the movie, then toward the end of his life, Hughes dons this mo'. Why, we aren't sure, but not even "historical accuracy" makes Leo's moustache justifiable. Somebody get this guy a razor.

Channing Tatum (The Sons of No One)

This movie bombed at the box office. Big time. You wanna know why? Four words: Tatum Channing's friggin' moustache. It straight looks like they shaved his balls and glued it to his upper lip. We get it. He's playing a cop. Great. We're pretty sure that at the academy they separate out the dudes who aren't growers and cut them right away. Some better casting could have fixed this, or they could have just decided he didn't have to look like he could double for the cop from the Village People before he could grow facial hair.

Kevin James (Paul Blart: Mall Cop)

Is that real? Or prosthetic? We can't tell. If the former, someone needs to tell Kevin James never to do that again. If the latter, have Columbia throw down for a nicer one next time. We shouldn't have spent 90 minutes staring at Kevin James's upper lip, we should have spent it bitching about how the movie wasn't funny.

Dr. Phil

Dr. Phil is a total asshole. And now, thanks to me, he's been mocked on the Internet for the first time. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Dr. Phil! Your moustache sucks!

Brian Dennehy (Assault on Precinct 13)

Ok, but seriously -- whose brilliant idea was it to remake this movie in the first place? I mean, we love saying Brian Dennehy's name and everything. His tear-jerking performances in Lifetime movies have made us all into fans. But we can't for the life of us figure out who wanted to remake one of the best John Carpenter movies ever into... whatever the hell this is. Also, his moustache has all the reality of a ghost. Who's letting these guys go on screen with moustaches? Please come forward and identify yourself so that we can garrotte you.

Harry Shearer (This Is Spinal Tap)

This is a perfect example of how "worst" can also mean "best." Mo' bros take note: You can totally grow a moustache down onto your neck during Movember and it will look sick as all get out. We're pretty sure even the likes of Lemmy is intimidated by this one.

Leonardo Dicaprio (Total Eclipse)

This guy is a repeat offender. You'd think someone would get him to stop, but he keeps doing shit like Blood Diamond, so he's going to have to learn his lesson from being the source of derision on the Internet. Also, we're pretty sure Rimbaud didn't die of a bad moustache and that appears to be what's going on in this picture. Medic!

You know can't grow a moustache? Christian Hendricks. Click on her pic, and see for yourself...

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