'Short Circuit' Remake Via Paul Blart

When in doubt of who would be perfect to remake a classic, get the guy who directed Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Steve Carr already directed Are We Done Yet, the sequel to the Ice Cube smash hit Are We There Yet,  so he obviously knows how to not ruin childhoods.  Penned by Dan Milano of Robot Chicken, the Short Circuit remake is apparently going to have some edge to it:

"Built by the military to be a highly sophisticated weapon, Johnny 5 develops a conscience and personality after being hit by lightning. He befriends a lonely boy and his fractured family."

It's going to insert itself into your imagination like the dull, rusty blade of a boy scout's pocket knife. Perhaps the premise should have stopped at "Johnny 5 gets hit by lightning." Then Paul Blart could reassemble the fried robot parts into a Segway and get a position as Head of Security at Mall of America, the largest mall in the country! I suppose terrorists could take it over after that. A Mall Cop sequel is something I can stand not seeing.  A Short Circuit remake is something I can stand not existing.