NEW 'DISTRICT 9' TRAILER WILL PURÉE YOUR BALLS

DISTRICT 9 Official Trailer - Watch more Movie Trailers

The latest full-length trailer for District 9 has just debuted and to put it simply, "Gagagagooooooo!" *slaps face with both hands repeatedly, does double take with eyes wide like saucers* Arresting visuals? Check. Compelling plot? Double check! Mech suits that might rival Avatar? I'm not sacrilegious. It's like they put Signs, Iron Man, and Slumdog Millionaire into a blender but instead of setting to "Blend" they went straight to "Purée Your Balls Awesome." And now my balls are but a frothy soup. So much for having children, I guess. Is it wrong that I'm totally okay with this?

HERE ARE TODAY'S LINKS THAT WILL AT LEAST JULIENNE YOUR BALLS!

_{Rachel Mestonen Is Hot (Gorillamask)}

_{Corey Feldman's Doodles At Michael Jackson's Memorial Service (Holytaco)}

_{Apparently, There Is Going To Be A MacGruber Movie (Filmdrunk)}

_{The 50 Most Bizarre Google Earth Images (Manofest)}

_{Finally - A Battleship Drinking Game! (Walyou)}

_{Words Of Wisdom From 80s Comedies (Pajiba)}

_{6 Badass Tricks You Can Do With Fire... That Could Kill You (Cracked)}

_{70s-Style 2012 Trailer?  Hell Yes. (Sickpigs)}

_{"We Are The World," Except Done By Japanese People (Coedmagazine)}

_{Madonna Looks Strong... Scarily Strong... (Celebjihad)}

_{8 Signs I Might Give It Up Tonight (Mademan)}

_{Does Having A Day Job Make You A Tough Fighter? (Cagepotato)}

_{20 Badass Video Game Cosplay Costumes (Unreality)}

_{8 Women-Approved Tips From Pickup Bootcamp (Asylum)}

_{We Can Only Hope Charles Furbush Makes It To The Majors (Bustedcoverage)}

_{The Best Slim Jim Commercials Of All Time (Uncoached)}

_{Cuddle Parties Sound Really Cool (Regretfulmorning)}

_{Manliness Of Yesteryear: The Duel (Bachelorguy)}

_{Teenage Boy Tries To Sell Nude Photos Of His Mom... Very Weird (Moondogsports)}

_{Gangsters Knock A Dude Out, Get Their Asses Kicked (Nothingtoxic)}

_{Pick Your Favorite Star Wars Fan Film (Atomfilms)}

_{Harry Potter 6 Ticket Sales Outpace Transformers 2, Will Most Likely Be Better Film (Filmofilia)}