movies

9 STANDUP COMEDIANS WHO SHOULD BE STARS

POSTED BY Buckminster Schumacker III | TUESDAY JULY 21 AT 1:48 PDT 
Funny People

Seems like 9 times out of 10, the headliner on a feature film comedy has his or her roots in the stand up comedy circuit.  Think about the mega-bankable big guns today, whether or not you think they're funny: Kevin James... Ben Stiller... Kevin James again.

This week, FUNNY PEOPLE opens, and in it, Adam Sandler plays a version of his real self - a comedian named George Simmons who went from the nightclub circuit to multiplexes with movies like MERMAN, SAYONARA DAVEY and RE-DO.

And just this summer, THE HANGOVER made comedian's comedian Zack Galifianakis's star meter smash through the glass ceiling of obscurity with a velvet hammer.  (He had us at "ritard.")

We got to thinking, who else deserves a big break like Galifianakis? Here are some stand up comedians we think are a project away from the big time.  With video evidence of their stand up routines to hopefully help prove our case.
 

 

PATTON OSWALT

Patton Oswalt's on the verge of superstardom already, so let's start with him.  His album, WEREWOLVES & LOLLIPOPS, recorded live from Austin, Texas, is a certified classic (the video above has some material from it), and he's already been the voice of the main mouse in Pixar's RATATOUILLE.  His next big thing is playing an obsessed New York Giants fan in the aptly named BIG FAN, which looks to be a straight up drama, possibly as disturbing as ONE HOUR PHOTO.  What would be OUR dream project to blow up Oswalt's acting career?  A forty-something lovable loser still living in his parents' house, whose parents hire a hot girl to date him so he moves.  Yeah it's FAILURE TO LAUNCH, but it's a lot more realistic.  Also, in our version the parents would be arrested for soliciting a prostitute.

 

 

BOBB'E J. THOMPSON

Bobb'e J. Thompson's the funniest 'tween working today, and while he doesn't have a background in straight up stand up, per se, we wanted to include him nonetheless, thanks to the clip above, in which he steals all of Steve Harvey's thunder (and at one time, that was no small task).  Bobb'e is showing up early in this list because his stardom seems as inevitable as Artie Lange's premature death. He's already had scene stealing moments in movies like ROLE MODELS, FRED CLAUS, and as Tracy Jr. on 30 ROCK.  And this kid's already played Gary Coleman in  "BEHIND THE CAMERA: THE UNAUTHORIZED STORY OF DIFF'RENT STROKES.  Our dream project for young Bobb'e?  Donning his Gene Simmons/KISS-inspired makeup from ROLE MODELS and playing a gang leader in Tony Scott's THE WARRIORS remake.

 

 

ROB HUEBEL & AZIZ ANSARI

As you might be able to deduce from the clip, Rob Huebel's been in a lot of
commercials. His role as Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man in the Lowe's Theater
spots is a dead on impersonation of a douchebag. Rob was also in I LOVE
YOU, MAN as Tevin Downey, Paul Rudd's douchey nemesis. Needless to say,
Huebel plays douchey well. Aziz Ansari is all over the place right now, partnering
up with Rob on HUMAN GIANT, starring as RAAAAAAAANDY in FUNNY PEOPLE, and
trying to be a married playboy in PARKS AND RECREATION. We'd like to see
these guys partner up in a feature as a daft, bickering villain duo. Since
we just used the word "daft" maybe they could even be british, or at least
Rob could be. The British and the Indians never understand each other. Don't believe us?  Check out Sir Richard Attenborough's laugh riot GANDHI.   

 

 

NICK SWARDSON

A hilarious standup comedian and "Friend of Sandler," Nick Swardson has
secured memorable bit parts in TV and film usually as a gay man, a stoner,
or both. As flamboyant Terry in RENO 911!, he constantly feeds the sheriff's
office false information while trying to maintain his balance. He's also the
voice of Gay Robot in GAY ROBOT, a great series of webisodes produced by
Sandler. Nick can also be seen as Michael in YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN,
and Jeff in GRANDMA'S BOY. As a staring role, we'd like to see Nick play a
man-child unaware of his blatant homosexuality and who's forced into a Christian
summer camp that turns men straight.  The title of the movie?  THE HOMOSEXORCIST.

 

 

JON BENJAMIN

You'll probably recognize Jon Benjamin's voice more than his Bruce Willis-like mug (he's the one on the TV in the clip above). He's done voice work for DR. KATZ, HOME MOVIES, FAMILY GUY, AQUA TEEN, and my personal favorite, "The Can of Vegetables" in WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER. As a feature role, we'd like to see Jon play the conscience of a pervert. He could manifest himself at some point so his physical form could appear on screen, but mainly we want to hear him say dirty words.

 

 

WHITNEY CUMMINGS

If you ask the five dentists who do the research for those toothpaste commercials, four out of five will say the funniest comedienne is Sarah Silverman.  But while her early material is pretty damn funny (and adorable), and THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM is inspired, we think she's already a star by virtue of being the top of the heap.  So who gets the Screen Junkies bump?  Whitney Cummings, who was a writer on the COMEDY CENTRAL ROAST OF BOB SAGET, and acted in an episode of Fox's HOUSE, which is known for its hilarity.  Our dream project for Whitney?  Anything other than HOUSE, M.D.  

 

 

BRIAN POSEHN

The man Sarah Silverman nicknamed "Weirdo" (because Galifianakis had "Beardo" taken) has been around on TV as far back as MR. SHOW, and has made a lot of cameos, including playing the priest who marries Sue Storm and Reed Richards in FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER.  But he's never quite had the success he's deserved, possibly because he looks like the child of Sasquatch and Beaker from THE MUPPETS.  He also looks a lot like Eric Wareheim of TIM & ERIC AWESOME SHOW GREAT JOB! and even played Eric in show's fake SPAGETT! movie.  Our dream project for Posehn?  The Swedish drummer for an 80s hair metal band playing an amusement park that gets taken over by terrorists.  The film's name?  ROCK HARD.  The co-author?  Me.  (Shameless Plug Alert Editor's Note: The script's option just expired.)

 

 

DANIEL TOSH

Daniel really hasn't been in jack, unless you count his role as "Cowboy Hat"
in THE LOVE GURU. So it's a testament to his talent that he got his own show, TOSH.0 on Comedy Central.  He's also done some great stand up during which he discusses what it was like to be a rich kid growing up in Orange County, or The O.C. That sounds like a movie right there. Sure, it's been done a hundred times (and has headed north into Malibu with Jamie Kennedy, too), but not with Daniel Tosh as the lead.

Who are YOUR favorite semi-famous or up-and-coming stand up comedians who deserve to hit it big?

Watch Babes, Win Watchmen on Blu-Ray!

 


 

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  1. Says:
    July 21st, 2009 at 08:51 pm Louis C.K.
  2. Says:
    July 21st, 2009 at 09:26 pm Jim Norton, Bill Burr, Patrice Oneal
  3. Says:
    July 21st, 2009 at 10:31 pm Anthony Jeselnik
  4. Says:
    July 21st, 2009 at 10:34 pm Tommy Drake, Costaki Economopoulos, Troy Baxley, many more funny undiscovered comics at www.squibcrib.com
  5. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 12:50 am what a huge faggot you are. what'd you do, google stand up comedy and look through the first three pages? these ARE stars you dumb fuck. they made it. they're all on TV. jesus you're such a jack off.
  6. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 06:31 am Aziz Ansari isnt funny and neither is Sarah Silverman. We get it. Sarah is a cute chick who behaves like a frat boy. First it was funny for 2 minutes, then it was annoying cute. Now it just plains sucks and isnt funny. Oh look at my pussy. It bleeds once a month every month!
  7. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 06:54 am brian regan
  8. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 07:25 am Jim Gaffigan is hilarious.
  9. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 07:26 am These guys are fucking lame. Patrice O'Neal should be on this list!!!
  10. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 09:27 am Jimmy Pardo.
  11. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 10:30 am LOUIS CK
  12. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 10:40 am Aziz Ansari IS hilarious, and having already seen footage of him as Randy in Funny People, he'll be a breakout star by the end of the summer. The problem, our anonymous friend, is that they aren't breakout stars, because no one knows who they are except for people who pay attention to comedians.
  13. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 11:24 am these are stars you faggot. bill burr should be the list.
  14. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 02:45 pm Louis CK is so funny. I love him.
  15. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 03:01 pm Chris Rock, Dane Cook, and Steve Martin should be on this list. I just wish they would finally get their big breaks and get to do arena comedy tours in addition to headlining major studio movies.
  16. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 06:02 pm Dan Mintz, Kyle Kinane, Jon Glaser, Ben Kronberg, Morgan Murphy
  17. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 07:21 pm Jimmy Carr
  18. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 08:37 pm dane cook
  19. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 08:37 pm carlos mencia
  20. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 08:40 pm glenn beck
  21. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 08:40 pm dennis miller
  22. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 08:42 pm cosign dane cook
  23. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 08:42 pm me
  24. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 08:43 pm your ugly face (it makes me laugh)
  25. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 08:48 pm dane cook again
  26. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 08:53 pm jamie foxx
  27. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 08:58 pm jamie foxx doing richard pryor's material
  28. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 08:59 pm jimmy fallon
  29. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 09:00 pm sorry jimmy fallon took this bit too far
  30. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 09:01 pm me, two posts ago
  31. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 09:03 pm dane cook wham! and just like that i'm back
  32. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 09:08 pm d.l. hughley
  33. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 09:12 pm Frangela
  34. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 09:15 pm Frangelafalloenciabeckfoxxcook
  35. Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 09:22 pm me again but since i'm not very funny cosign on motherfucking Jim Norton but only if he opens for dane cook i fucking love that guy
  36. Says:
    July 23rd, 2009 at 06:45 am Jimmy Pardo!
  37. Says:
    July 23rd, 2009 at 01:17 pm there is nothing funny about whitney cummings
  38. Says:
    July 23rd, 2009 at 03:19 pm Russ Meneve
  39. Library Says:
    July 23rd, 2009 at 03:48 pm I agree with Anonymous #5. You are a huge faggot. Gay people LOVE Googling subjects and then creating interesting lists using the information they cull from it, and clearly you are about as gay as they come. You're such a homo that you put up a list of very funny people that aren't yet super famous but should be and then also embedded clips that illustrate how funny these people are. I could have EASILY done this using Google. Granted, it would have taken longer, but fuck, only fags like saving time. You homo. The next time you're considering putting up an entertaining list with good comedians and funny clips, do us all a favor and go suck a cock instead. Faggie fag fag.
  40. Enqido_ Says:
    July 23rd, 2009 at 07:04 pm To be precise, the term "star" in this context defines someone who is the lead actor in a film or television show, main attraction of an event, or the otherwise featured performer whom the majority of ticket buyers, viewers, or listeners are drawn to see or hear over a multi-year career. Using that widely accepted definition of "star" I think it's safe to say that the majority of people on this list have not achieved that status. Or if they have, they have not done so in significantly large venues for an extended period of time. For example, headlining an hour long special on Comedy Central would not necessarily make one a "star" despite the fact that in that particular instance one was the main attraction of the event. In addition to their lack of consistent "star" prominence, many if not all of the individuals on this list have gained their notoriety as costars, ensemble members, or through varied supporting roles to genuine "stars". This does not disparage their gifts or talent but it does speak to their lack of merit of the label "star". In conclusion, this list of "9 stand-up comedians who should be stars" is undoubtedly flawed and incomplete but it does not misuse the characterization of "star". Furthermore, it is Library and Anonymous #5 who should go suck a cock. Preferably each others. Often and vigorously. Not because you're gay. Simply because no one else would do it. Since your cocks are very small.
  41. Says:
    July 24th, 2009 at 07:00 am Jimmy Pardo!!!
  42. Says:
    July 24th, 2009 at 08:03 am I'll save everybody the trouble of reading all the posts and just paraphrase them here: Gay. Gay. You're Gay. Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay. Fagot Queen Gay
  43. Says:
    July 26th, 2009 at 09:23 pm i could name a lot of others... some on your list ain't all that funny to me but that's okay. and patton is pretty damn famous. he's in everything.
  44. Says:
    August 10th, 2009 at 12:07 am a guy named Kvon or k-Von . saw him in Orange County too where Daniell Tosh was. Very funny half persian comedian
  45. Says:
    August 11th, 2009 at 08:18 pm what about miley cyrus he's funny
  46. Says:
    August 29th, 2009 at 07:29 pm greg giraldo. google him, bitches.
  47. Says:
    September 4th, 2009 at 10:53 am russell peters
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