movies

16 Villains We'd Rather See Win

POSTED BY Screen Junkies | WEDNESDAY JANUARY 27 AT 9:28 PST 
General - Movies
Admit it. There are times in the back of your mind when you want the good guy to lose. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes the star is a just a gigantic wuss who deserves total failure. Here are some that we believe are worth mentioning.
 

16. Special Agent Starling vs. Hannibal Lecter 

Eat people, listen to classical music, break out of prison. Repeat. And he killed the principal from Boston Public (everybody wanted to do it; he got there first). Special Agent Starling just ran around and tried to get people out of basement dungeons. Nice work, but there’s no money in it. Plus, I tried Chianti with fava beans. It’s pretty kick ass.
 

15. Llewelyn Moss vs. Anton Chigurh

Try this just once for a job interview. Before you’re called into the office, just fire blast off the doorknob with a CO2 tank. Walk in slowly. Don’t look anyone in the eye. Then flip a coin and say call it.  (Remember to include the bolt gun thing on your resume. That’s as big a deal as knowing Javascript).
 

14. Dreaming Children vs. Freddy Krueger

So far, killing teenagers is still a crime. But until the Supreme Court comes around, one can dream.
 

13. Dorothy vs. The Wicked Witch of the West

She had green skin. She worked with flying monkeys. She crushed bitches with houses. How hardcore was that? Also, she's sort of dominatrix hot (stockings, black hair, strict). The heroine, Dorothy, I can take or leave. It’s really just her glee club friends.
 

12. Bud Fox vs. Gordon Gekko

Mergers & acquisitions, murders & executions. Greed is good. Hair gel and red suspenders are even better. Way to f*ck the little guy, Gordo. Plus, he slaps around Charlie Sheen. That guy has it coming.
 

11. Detective Nick Curran vs. Catherine Trammel

Awesome bad guy one day, total wuss the next. Yeah, I didn’t care who won in this movie. When dyed-blonde bi-curious femme fatales go on a murderous bone-a-thon, everybody wins.

10. Dave Kujan vs. Verbal Kint

Take the best lie you ever told a cop in high school. Now multiply it by 40, walk with a limp, and get away with murder. Sorry Chazz Palminteri, Keyser Soze just got out of jail free. If you run, you can still catch him. Try your mom’s.
 

9. Richard Dreyfuss vs. Jaws

Ehh. The shark was ok. This is more about Richard Dreyfuss. F*ck that guy.
 
 

8. Daniel-San vs. Cobra Kai

They drank hard, picked on weaklings, did blow, and rode matching scooters. Sorry Daniel-san. We gotta sweep the leg on this vote. No mercy.
 

7. Jack & Rose vs. Iceberg

Cold, hard, and in control. After 2.5 hours, who wouldn’t want to kill DiCaprio and Kate Winslet? Come on. When everyone in the audience started sobbing, you went back for more Sour Patch Kids. Admit it. That iceberg did us all a favor.
 

6. Juno vs. Society

Jesus. That bitch was quirky times three and annoying times ten. Sorry. Maybe I missed the point of this movie. But it was a long, drawn-out cage fight, and you just wanted the conservatives to win.
 

5. Billy Costigan vs. Frank Costello

Sure, he dressed like your grandparents (heavy Dockers, golf hat), but he lived like a king and freaked guys out with giant fake dildos. Who knew opera and hookers went together so well?
 

4. Bambi vs. Bambi's Parents

Just checking.  I threw this in there to clear the palate, like a sorbet at a fancy meal.  If you laughed out loud, you’re a terrible person and you’ll make a bad father.
 

3. Batman vs. the Joker

Dressed well, had A.D.D., and reminded you of the jittery kid in shop class. You know, the one who talked to saws (he wore purple shirts, picked his teeth with knives, and even the bullies kept their distance). Batman? Kind of a wanker. Moralizing, worrying, thinking out loud. Take away the Batmobile and he’s just Hamlet with ripped abs.
 

2. Terminator vs. T-1000

Robert Patrick was liquid metal. He stabbed people with sword-arms, impersonated cops (like your cousin Sully) and left the party just in time by rocking out in molten steel. I think he drove a truck into the LA River. Only he didn’t get caught (like your cousin Sully). Yeah, Schwarzenegger’s cool, but can the Governor of California take six shotgun blasts and keep working? Hmm. Actually, somebody Google this. *Plus, Sarah Connor wouldn't stop lecturing people about the machines, the machines. Lady, we get it. We've all been caught in an elevator. F*ck the machines. Move on.
 

1. Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Vader

James Earl Jones had the voice and the helmet. If you disappointed him, he cut your hand off. If you ignored him, he blew up your planet. Way to flex nuts. Against that boyscout Luke Skywalker, this is no contest. Luke Skywalker chilled with robots, got beat up by Ewoks, and blew up the Death Star. That’s like blowing up a black Ferrari without bothering to drive it.
 

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  1. Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 11:16 am last two where awesome. spot on
  2. Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 04:11 pm Apparently there are only a handful of people who didn't like the movie Juno... and I am certainly one of them! Good for you for including that movie on this list
  3. Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 04:18 pm This is the worst list I've ever seen. Half of these villains did win, and no one in their right mind was hoping Arnold would lose to the t-1000.
  4. Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 04:20 pm OMG dude, Juno? Juno was like the coolest chick ever portrayed dude! RT www.online-privacy.int.tc
  5. Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 04:21 pm Last I read Hannibal Lecter won. He and Clarice are on a tropical isalnd.
  6. Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 04:40 pm Yea, change the title of this list to bad guys who did win.
  7. Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 04:43 pm Make this a list of 17 and add Dr. Horrible.
  8. Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 04:50 pm haha win
  9. Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 04:50 pm dr evil
  10. Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 05:23 pm Uuhm... Hannibal did win. Not only did he get away, he got to plow Clarice later on in the sequel. And... do you not remember the car crash at the end of No Country?
  11. Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 05:24 pm The guy from law abiding citizen!!!
  12. Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 05:40 pm But the Joker did win. Batman was turned into a hunted criminal (for the rest of society).
  13. Says:
    January 28th, 2010 at 08:10 am The Wicked Witch had nothing to do with dropping the house on her sister, that was all Dorothy and the tornado.
  14. Says:
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:01 pm DARTH FUCKING MAUL
  15. Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 09:49 am Anton Chigurh pretty much did win, he lived and got the money.
  16. Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 07:59 pm WORST LIST EVER, most of these bad guys did WIN!!!!! do some fact checking!!!
  17. Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 11:02 pm good list...vader immediately came to mind when i saw the title...but darth fucking maul would probly be second
  18. Says:
    January 30th, 2010 at 07:51 am This list is missing the best one: Colonel Nathan Jessup vs. Lt. Daniel Caffey. One is a lazy, softball playing lawyer in a faggotty white uniform who has daddy issues. The other is a kickass Marine who knows how to defend this nation, has no problem handling the truth, and makes no apologies for doing so. I haven't wanted a villain to win so bad since I wanted to see Wile E. Coyote catch that fucking bird, wring it's annnoying neck, pluck its feathers, and toss it an a giant Acme stew pot. Come to think of it, add that to your list, too.
  19. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 12:47 am I was about to disown you when I read Jack and Rose--Titanic makes me cry like the girl that I am to this day--but then you got to Juno and all was forgiven. Talk about an overrated character.
  20. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 02:30 am The Sheriff of Nottingham from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Alan Rickman's scenery chewing performance was a delight, especially compared to Kevin Costner's dull Robin Hood.
  21. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 03:19 am I'm so glad you included Juno
  22. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 03:21 am What about Gerard Butler in Law Abiding Citizen, as opposed to the wet careerist and utterly immoral Jamie Fox?
  23. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 03:53 am Colonel Quarritch from Avatar deserved to be on the list. I wanted to see him cut Jake Sully to shreds. I was also hoping that Ana Lucia would cop another bullet in that god awful excuse for a movie. Joaquin Pheonix was another villain I wanted to see win in Gladiator. While I am on the Rid Scott hating bandwagon here, Harrison Ford deserved his beatdown from Rutger Hauer. Harrison Ford played one of the most boring characters in film history.
  24. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 05:35 am Don't know if you count cartoons, but what about poor old Wile E Coyote?
  25. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 05:42 am Fake dildo? Wow, he sure wouldn't have been freaked out in that scene by a real dildo. Whoever made this list sucks balls. And those balls were as smooth as eggs.
  26. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 05:49 am Your list sucks dude. You include many of the few really cool heroes in movies, and you fail to realize that half of your heroes do lose in the end. Michael Mann's "Heat" is the perfect example of where most of us want the "villain" to defeat the hero. De Niro's Neil McCauley is way, way cooler than Pacino's Vince Hannah and I actually cried when he shot Neil. Talk about a bummer. On the other hand, maybe Neil is actually the hero, Hannah is the villain and the film is meant to be a manly tearjerker.
  27. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 06:07 am I made a lightsaber out of your mum's fake dildo and some chicken wire and shit.
  28. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 06:23 am Did you even watch ANY of these movies? ""16 Villains We'd Rather See Win"? In 7 of the 16 movies you chose, the bad guy DID win? Umm... the witch in the Wizard of Oz didn't do any house dropping - Dorothy did. Put down the bong and back away slowly... straighten up and try again.
  29. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 06:40 am "most of these bad guys did WIN!!!!! do some fact checking!!!" You and everyone repeating that should attend some reading comprehension classes, lol. The title isn't "Villains that lost but we wish they'd won." The only thing wrong with the list is that the WW of the West didn't have anything to do with dropping the house on her sister, heh(...er...and I'll second Colonel Jessup as belonging here, but they probably just didn't want to put in Nicholson twice, hehehe; otherwise we'd have the OTHER Joker in there, too).
  30. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 07:42 am What about Gerard Butler in Law Abiding Citizen, as opposed to the wet careerist and utterly immoral Jamie Fox? POSTED BY Anonymous | MONDAY FEBRUARY 1 AT 3:21 PST Hell yeah! I hated Jamie Fox in this. He should have been one of the ones killed.
  31. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 07:46 am Hannibal Lector is not the villain in Silence of the Lambs. The villain is Buffalo Bill, maybe you should actually watch movies before you make lists about them
  32. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 07:55 am haha i liked it,although i would have liked to have seen michael myers on that list....everyone loves old mikey
  33. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 08:05 am when did anthony hopkins kill the principal from boston public? what fake movie or tv show did that happen in? and what fake dildo are you referring to in the departed, must have missed that part...
  34. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 10:04 am Dorothy dropped the house on a witch. Not the other way around.
  35. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 11:10 am Whoa. What's your problem with Richard Dreyfuss?
  36. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 12:06 pm This list is meaningless without Denis Leary in Judgment Night.
  37. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 12:06 pm Not a fan of the list. Did you live in the 80s? Nobody wanted Jonny to beat the Danielson! Only one I would agree with in Sharon Stone, and that is more to do with the fact that she was naked throughout the film!
  38. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 01:11 pm Good Day From along day and heavey time. Whatw Heavey pot in the fields of the college, Not Santa Cruz is it? Don't forget about the un spent money. Thank You , Al and Joe is gone, P.S. Why did they both need new Vehicals?
  39. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 01:29 pm Yup, you didn't get "Juno". Or was it just that she didn't fit into any of the American "teenage girl in a movie" standards? If you want to see another take on Dorothy vs. The Wicked Witch of the West, I recommend the musical "Wicked". Or the book, but I hear that's not so much pro Witch.
  40. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 02:07 pm What! Dumb list. In a way the conservaties did win, afterall Juno didn't got an abortion, and if she in fact would have gotten an abortion the movie was pretty much over.
  41. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 02:24 pm Some more suggestions. How about Gabriel Byrne's Satan in "End Of Days" or Tommy Lee Jones in "Under Siege". If was up to me that DiCaprio character in "Titanic" would have been dead long before any iceberg got near him. I feel it is among the most overrated movies ever made.
  42. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 04:49 pm Gerard Butler in Law Abiding Citizen and of course the top of this list should be Col. Quaritch. I hate those goddamn self-righteous Na'vis.
  43. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 05:08 pm How about Tim Curry as Pennywise in "IT." I know it is a mini-series but he was a damn good villain and deserves to be on that list.
  44. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 05:24 pm Dude you fucked up the title. Funny shit though XD
  45. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 05:44 pm Number 7 was completely in bad taste. This is a DUMB article.
  46. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 06:41 pm If you really think about it, with the exception of all their bad sequels, movies 16, 15, 14, 11, 10, and 7 did have the bad guys win in the end.
  47. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 07:55 pm I'm all for deer propaganda. Go Bambi!
  48. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 10:09 pm What about Prince Nuada from Hellboy 2? He might have been crazy as **** but he had a good point and was creepily gorgeous.
  49. Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 11:19 pm Dr. Evil vs. A. Powers. The title character lost is allure quickly. Dr. Evil was solid. Just once, couldn't the guy get his sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads -- I mean really.
  50. Says:
    February 2nd, 2010 at 12:35 pm Personally, I wanted to see Nurse Ratchet just lop off Jack Nicholson's head at the neck.
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