movies

10 PORN CHICKS WHO SHOULD GO MAINSTREAM

POSTED BY Buckminster Schumacker III | TUESDAY APRIL 7 AT 3:20 PDT 
General - Movies

On April 30th, Steven Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience becomes available On Demand, and then in limited theatrical release on May 22nd.  WATCH THE TRAILER HERE.  The film stars adult film actress Sasha Grey, and is her first experience working in the mainstream.  We at Screen Junkies thought to ourselves that if Sasha can act in a mainstream feature film, then there are some other porn starlets out there who'd have a place in the broader market as well.  Without further ado, here they are.

 

BRIANA BANKS

         

Briana Banks' career took off when she changed her name from "Mirage" and had a boob job.  Her first appearance as the Briana we've come to know was in Decadent Whores 9.  Any actress understands the slim odds of being brought into a storied franchise as a key player - let alone the 9th installment.  So it's a testament to her acting prowess that she landed the gig.  And if you overlook the fact that you can buy a mold of her vagina at adult book shops, you might let her win you over with her cute, Midwestern looks.  We think she'd do well as the female lead in romantic comedies. 

 

JENAVEVE JOLIE

          

Jenaveve has beein in over 250 adult films, and has also appeared on Howard Stern on Demand.  She said that she did not have any friends in high school because "nobody liked her" and also because "She would hook up with her friends boyfriends", she now has no friends except for her pornstar friends who aren't successful as well.  That takes a certain ballsiness, and when we think of tough, we think of Michele Rodriguez.  Also, both Jolie and Rodriguez have gotten it on with girls.  Perfect for upping your indie  cred.  We'd like to see Jenaveve in a low-budget drama about the struggle to rise above your means.

 

CATALINA CRUZ

         

Spicy.  Saucy.  Latina.  If Catalina can pull off a convincing Spanish accent and traipse around the streets of Barcelona talking about life, love, food and how men are pigs, then indie darling Pedro Almodóvar has a spot in his next flick for you.  You and Penelope can play sisters and they can save money by only having to print your surnames once.  In this economy, every cutback helps.  (And the ability to do foreign films is a bigger asset than the two on Catalina's chest.) 

 

JESSE JANE

         

In January 2007, an article in the New York Times stated that Jesse Jane intended to have her breast enhancement surgery re-done in an effort to enhance their appearance for high-definition movies.  Now that's commitment to her roles, and reminds us of Renee Zellweger gaining and losing and gaining for Bridget Jones.  Yes, quirky neurotic lead in a British rom com it is, for Jesse Jane.

 

KAYDEN KROSS

         

Kayden Kross has described herself in high school as "the book nerd".  In September 2008, Kross was charged with grand theft and violations of the California Civil Code involving contracts for purchases of home equity.  Book nerd and theft makes us think of Winona Ryder, who makes us think of period piece movies.  Kayden, we've seen you in corsets that have the boob parts cut out.  Now it's time to try on the real ones.

 

KIRA KENER

         

Kener has been quoted as saying, "Major stardom hasn't hit me.  It kind of goes to everyone else BUT me."  She has actually gone so far as to retire from adult films, too.  Sounds a lot like Mickey Rourke before doing The Wrestler, to us.  All she needs is for a defiant, determined director to get behind her and give her a character who'll rise like a phoenix.  If this character's name happens to be "Phoenix" and likes to spin around on poles, then so much the better.

 

KRYSTAL STEAL

         

Krystal Steal's flaxen hair makes us think of the elves in Lord of the Rings.  Yes, even though Liv Tyler was a brunette elf, we still think of the elves.  If you have a problem with that, go read Ain't It Cool News, you elitist.  If you don't have a problem with it, enjoy this poster for the mainstream comic-fantasy we'd like to see Krystal starring in.

 

SAVANNA SAMSON

         

The elder stateswoman of the bunch, Savanna would do well in dramedies, playing the older sister who's always keeping her siblings in line.  But she never takes a moment... to breathe.  Her on-camera experience spanking younger actresses and holding her breath for long periods of time would be invaluable assets in researching these sorts of roles.  Oh, I just made a none too subtle sex joke.  Tee hee.  I'm 12.

 

 

TEAGAN PRESLEY

         

In 2005 Teagan Presley appeared on the hit HBO show Entourage as a member of the "Pussy Patrol" in Season 2, Episode 9: I Love You Too.  Shortly following this, she announced that she had her breast implants replaced and that she would be auctioning them on Ebay, with 20%of the proceeds going to Susan G. Komen for the Cure.  The remainder of the proceeds were to be used to fund her divorce and custody cases.  She's a tough cookie who knows her way around the legal system.  And that's why she's perfect for a TNT drama.

 

LANNY BARBY

         

Lanny Barby's adult film career started off in obscurity, and a brief appearance in World Sex Tour 24: Canada was her first gig.  But with perseverance, she slept her way to stardom (all on-camera, people; she's not slutty), and has emerged as one of the top adult film stars today.  Her raven-black hair and athletic build makes us think she'd make a pretty darn good Amazonian warrior type with a certain invisible jet and bulletproof wristbands...

 

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  1. Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 04:08 pm Yes please make these women more mainstream - send an even greater message to girls that a woman's worth is inexplicably tied to her appearance and sexuality. That porn is a great career and can even make you famous! All you need is breast implants and the ability to 'act' like you enjoy getting demeaned by men you don't know. Soderbergh's really getting desperate.
  2. Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 04:40 pm Has the guy writing this got something against big breasts? Big Tit porn is a niche and not to everybody's tastes, but i must admit that his selection is very good. Made me laugh an all.
  3. Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 06:32 pm Ashlynn Brooke needs a mention
  4. Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 06:38 pm Dude, that wonder woman poster made me want to see that version of wonder woman so god damned badly.
  5. Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 07:36 pm This list is a fail without Ashlynn Brooke.
  6. Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 08:13 pm ^ Ashlynn Brooke? Really? I'm pretty sure this list has 90% of the girls I jerk off to on it. Definite win.
  7. Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 08:18 pm kylee strutt is the next sharon stone
  8. Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 08:19 pm Teagan really screwed up when she got implants,she was much more attractive before.
  9. Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 10:43 pm Hmmmm... Fury... She really needs to go mainstream! www.furystrikesback.com
  10. Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 10:57 pm wheres the natural , they all have lipstick...hence they all FAIL
  11. Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 11:44 pm umm… guys, are we failing to see Lanny Barbie?!?! just with her alone, and as flippin' WONDER WOMAN! definitely WIN!!!
  12. Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 11:46 pm no asians? wtf?
  13. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 06:16 am mainstream yea cause theyre done in the porn world. get a new list.
  14. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 06:53 am Great idea, but it was all downhill after the brilliance of "Must Love Balls." And where's Nautica Thorn?
  15. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 06:55 am Forgot to mention... Nautica really showed off her acting skills in The DaVinci Load 2. Check it out.
  16. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 07:50 am Great list, but I would like to see greater diversity such as a Native and African American actress. Please refer to such films as Geranalmo and Homey in the Haystack for possible candidates.
  17. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 08:37 am My Favorites Too!
  18. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 08:42 am A well written list. If a 2nd installment is going to be created, i'd add Jenna Haze and Taylor rain. (Although some of the things Taylor does makes me gag...). They could even be in the same movie, as two quirky sister trying to make a living in New York City.
  19. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 08:56 am Nicely done.
  20. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 09:05 am Where is Jaime Hammer? She's super hot!
  21. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 09:45 am Yes. Yes. Yes. The movie posters are awesome. I love porn.
  22. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 09:46 am Not funny. Stupid.
  23. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 10:05 am Eh... oooooh yeeeeeeah. Ehhhhhhhh.
  24. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 10:10 am Brianna Banks has the best legs in porn. Shame about the bolt-ons, she was fine without them.
  25. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 10:12 am What about Austin Kincaid ... the most beautiful woman anywhere.
  26. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 10:27 am they all still look like filthy whores to me
  27. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 11:15 am they all look fake and terrible
  28. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 11:15 am Two words...Katie Morgan.
  29. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 12:09 pm brittney skye could go mainstream
  30. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 01:07 pm A lot of these chicks are sorta busted/fake in a way that most of Hollywood would never take.
  31. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 01:57 pm This is probably one of the dumbest lists of all times. I love porn for a reason, the producers, directors, and casting agents are very talented. They are very talented in finding the most whorish women and placing them in the nastiest of situations. Situations such as DP, facials, ATM and many other nasty themes. These bitches are only good for one thing and that is helping us bust a load in a minute flat. They are not meant to be mainstream anything other then sucking dick and looking great doing it. The women in this list all look like dirty filthy whores and nothing else, and thank goodness for that.
  32. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 02:42 pm ashlynn brooke is amazing, how could she be left off this.
  33. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 08:17 pm Jandi Lynn
  34. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 09:29 pm Not to mention Jenna Haze, Chalie Laine and Hillary Scott and where's the Asian gals?
  35. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 10:09 pm I <3 pornstars.
  36. Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 10:13 pm Who's this faggot at the top on his high horse? If your so offended by the porn industry, why are you here? Why are you reading this article? You can be offended by anything you want but to come here and chastise everyone here for the same thing your doing doesn't help your credibility guy. The cold hard fact is that many women are only appreciated for their looks and don't mind being demeaned or bankrupting the morale of society. However, it's up to parents to teach their children better. Out....
  37. Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 12:07 am Wow, people crying about how this list isn't right. It's a joke. Golly gee Wally, these porn stars are immoral. Hey, almost every guy has rubbed one out to at least one of these women... and who cares if there's no asians... where's the black, indian, or true latina girls? Catalina Cruz ain't latina. She just looks like Penelope Cruz.
  38. Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 04:00 am Dear porn lovers! Take it all to your cheerish mouth ...
  39. Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 07:52 am brianna beach and brooke banner are very fuckable and should be included also.
  40. Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 08:26 am NINA MERCEDEZ is best looking porn actress with the best body...
  41. Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 09:27 am no komentar
  42. Buckminster Schumacker III Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 10:54 am

    Sorry, folks.  Images should be back up shortly. 

  43. Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 01:12 pm kayden kross is flippin hot!
  44. Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 04:53 pm Definitely Nicole Graves gentlemen.. She can act maybe in the Devils wear Prada 2.. or Delta White..
  45. Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 04:57 pm I would say Maria Ozawa for Fast & Furious 5, eh?
  46. Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 11:10 pm Jenna Jordan!?!?
  47. Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 11:10 pm Jana Jordan!?!?
  48. Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 11:17 pm You missed a bunch of babes that I really like: 1. Tori Black 2. Bree Olsen 3. Jana Jordan 4. Tory Lane 5, Carmen Luvana might as well throw Sunrise Adams in there too
  49. Says:
    April 11th, 2009 at 01:08 am Taylor Rain. #1 hottest girl ever, and a total freak. Love at first sight, hahahah...
  50. Says:
    April 11th, 2009 at 01:23 am i want sex with you
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