movies

10 CLASSIC TOPLESS SCENES

POSTED BY Wookie Johnson | MONDAY MAY 18 AT 2:02 PDT 
Terminator:Salvation

Pictured above: "McJugs"

In an effort to earn a PG-13 rating and rake in larger box office returns, director McG rocked perverts the world over with the announcement that he had removed Moon Bloodgood’s topless scene from Terminator: Salvation. Once a very vocal supporter of the chesty inclusion, he backpedaled, citing that it felt “gratuitous” and he “didn’t want to convolute the story or the characters.” It was a normal day like any other when I heard the sad news. But once I caught wind I just sat down on the sidewalk and began to weep whilst a city full of heartless boob-haters rushed to and fro all around me.

But it taught me to appreciate the great nudity that did survive the editing room. Below are ten topless scenes that have had a great impact on us all, as a people.

Click on the headlines to see the videos on Break. 

ERIKA ELENIAK in UNDER SIEGE

Playboy Playmate and Baywatch star Erika Eleniak showed a ton of range as a stripper held hostage on a commandeered battleship in 1992’s Under Siege. I mean, she actually had to act like she was attracted to Steven Seagal. Nowadays you need computer graphics to pull that off.

        

 

 

PATSY KENSIT in LETHAL WEAPON 2

There is no argument that Lethal Weapon 2 has earned its place in the pantheon of awesome action films. The action sequences are inventive, the villains are vicious, and Mel’s craziness was considered charming at the time; so charming in fact that his Martin Riggs is able to bed the sexy South African Rika van den Haas. This onscreen tryst introduced Patsy Kensit to American audiences and young adult males to a tingling in their pants. [Editor's Note: Our apologies for the gratuitous Gibson nipples]

         

 

 

KATIE HOLMES in THE GIFT

 

Before Tom Cruise, Scientology, and Suri, Katie Holmes was regarded as attractive. She was also regarded as a marketable casting choice. Sadly those days are gone, but thankfully she was able to appear in 2000’s The Gift, where she gave us the greatest gift of all… nipples.

         

 

 

HALLE BERRY in SWORDFISH

Audiences were shocked when respected actress Halle Berry went topless in the action-dud Swordfish. I’ve got to admit that the scene is pretty gratuitous and out-of-place. She’s literally reading a book topless. The book might as well be upside down or titled, Hey! Look At My Funbags!!

         

 

 

RHONA MITRA in HOLLOW MAN

What would you do with the power of invisibility? In Hollow Man, Kevin Bacon uses his newfound ability to spy on his attractive neighbor, played by Rhona Mitra. Sounds like a plan to me. If I were invisible I’d essentially live in girls locker rooms. And when that got old, I guess I’d use my power for the greater good or something.

         

 

 

DENISE RICHARDS in WILD THINGS

In an effort to shed her girl next door image, Party Of Five’s Neve Campbell participated in this film’s infamous party of three. Though, she declined to disrobe affording Denise Richards the chance to break them out in this breakout role.

         

 

 

LYCIA NAFF in TOTAL RECALL

Unless you’re discussing The Godfather Trilogy, three is normally better than two, as illustrated in the classic scene from Total Recall where Arnold encounters a woman with three breasts, played convincingly by Lycia Naff, with some help from the makeup department.  Fun fact: Lycia Naff later went on to be a journalist, and her celebrity coverage for People Magazine resulted in Denise Richards labeling her a c-word in public.  It's a small world amongst topless on-camera personalities after all.

On another side note of terrific import, have you ever noticed that McG resembles Kuato?  It’s in the eyes. 

 

 

JOYCE HYSER in JUST ONE OF THE GUYS

 

1985’s Just One of the Guys tells the story of a female high school student who masquerades as a boy in order to win a prestigious journalism internship. Her plan works too well when she falls for a classmate. Toward the end of the film actress Joyce Hyser exposes herself to her crush in an effort to prove that she isn’t actually Ralph Macchio. And the world has been waxing off ever since.

 

 

AMY SMART in ROAD TRIP

 

Amy Smart surprised the world by shedding her top in the college comedy Road Trip. Director Todd Phillips convinced her to do so by promising that the scene would rival Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Sadly it did not propel her career into the stratosphere and now she’s still taking her shirt off in movies like Mirrors and Crank 2. Did I say sadly? Ignore me.  

         
 

 

 

PHOEBE CATES in FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH

The removal of Phoebe Cates’s red bikini top is arguably the most famous moment in film. Go ahead and ask Leonard Maltin. He won’t argue. The iconic scene ranked Number One on a list of the top 100 nude scenes compiled by MrSkin and has been referenced and parodied time and time again in film, television, and music. In fact, many video store owners have claimed that VHS copies of Fast Times At Ridgemont High have tracking errors during the reveal due to excessive pausing and rewinding. Way to go, Maltin. You ruined those tapes for the rest of us.

         


Can you think of any others that should have made the list? Get it off your chest in the ‘Comments’ section.

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  1. tyvick Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 09:25 am

    This entire list was more than worth it, if for nothing other than the Kuato/McG comparison...absolutely brilliant. And what the hell happened to Phoebe Cates?

  2. Anonymous Says:
    July 4th, 2010 at 05:12 am

    hhgj

  3. where was Shannon Elizabeth in American Pie. Says:
    July 23rd, 2010 at 07:14 pm

    Shannon Elizabeth in American Pie blows these away

  4. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 09:56 am Linda Fiorentino in Beyond the Law
  5. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 10:09 am Shannon Elizabeth in "American Pie"
  6. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 11:47 am Courtney Cox - 10,000 Miles to Graceland
  7. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 12:03 pm and don't forget the other chick in 'fast times' who did the full monty sex scene
  8. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 12:40 pm Phoebe Cates is Kevin Kline's wife. She has been for close to 20 years. Jennifer Jason Leigh is the "other chick" in Fast Times.
  9. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 12:45 pm Jamie Leigh Curtis in Trading Places
  10. they're too young to know this.... fu**ing nergeek Says:
    March 17th, 2010 at 01:13 am

    they're too young to know this.... fu**ing nergeek

  11. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 12:51 pm thora birch in "american pie
  12. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 01:20 pm Kathy Bates in "About Smidt"
  13. Jim Connelly Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 02:09 pm

    Uma Thurman in Dangerous Liasions. 

  14. Anonymous Says:
    April 23rd, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    Yes. Yes! Uma Thurman in Dangerous Liaisons. This should be #1. Yes. Yes. Yes.

  15. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 02:17 pm Martha Smith in Animal House
  16. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 02:25 pm Susan Ward...the In Crowd
  17. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 03:15 pm Cindy Morgan - a.k.a Lacey Underall - in "Caddyshack"
  18. Anonymous Says:
    April 29th, 2010 at 11:06 am

    yes!

  19. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 03:48 pm Julia Montgomery - "Betty Childs" in "Revenge of the Nerds"
  20. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 04:36 pm Uh, I think that should be Thora Birch in "American Beauty," not "American Pie"
  21. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 04:36 pm Anne Hathaway in "Havoc" and "Brokeback Mountain".
  22. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 08:10 pm Angelina Jolie... ANY TIME she showed off those bad boys!
  23. Anonymous Says:
    April 13th, 2010 at 04:38 am

    uh, that would be bad GIRLS, you maroon.....

  24. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 08:56 pm Olivia Wilde in Alpha Dog
  25. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 11:03 pm Salma Hayek's hot as hell lesbian sex scene, err all her sex scenes really, but especially the lesbian one in Frida!
  26. Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 11:32 pm this is fucking retarded
  27. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 06:16 am Jessica Beil in Powder Blue
  28. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 06:45 am Mickey Rourke in The Wreslter
  29. jay Says:
    May 7th, 2010 at 09:45 am

    heeheehee

  30. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 06:52 am Heather Graham is Boogie nights...etc...
  31. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 07:57 am Julie andrews in S. O.B.
  32. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 08:13 am This list sucked ass!! You are lame, thanks for wasting my time dick head.
  33. Anonymous Says:
    February 26th, 2010 at 05:19 pm

    easy now. sounds like you viewed the whole list. Maybe Playgirl magazine would be more to your liking.

  34. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 11:09 am Linda Hamilton in Terminator (the original one)
  35. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 01:03 pm show me the uncensored pics you FAG!
  36. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 01:34 pm Kate Winslett in "Titanic", Patricia Charbonneau in "Desert Hearts", Suzanne Somers in "Magnum Force"...That's all that I can think of...for now.
  37. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 02:24 pm jamie lee curtis baby
  38. Anonymous Says:
    April 13th, 2010 at 04:40 am

    like in "Trading Places". superb....

  39. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 02:29 pm Mike Myers in Austin Powers!
  40. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 03:34 pm Mike myers... LOL
  41. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 05:09 pm Angelina Jolie in Gia... amazing
  42. Anonymous Says:
    April 26th, 2010 at 10:08 am

    Are you serious?? That's the movie that forever made me think jolie was NASTY. Her body's so monkey like with a face to match, and her tits are droopy. GROSS.

  43. Anonymous Says:
    May 6th, 2010 at 02:07 pm

    oh? sounds kinda like gayness there

  44. Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 07:40 pm Bea Arthur in Maude!
  45. Says:
    May 21st, 2009 at 07:14 am Kumar: How were Katie Holmes' tits? Goldstein: You know the Holocaust? Kumar: Yeah? Goldstein: Picture the opposite of that! Kumar: Nice!
  46. Says:
    May 21st, 2009 at 12:58 pm Melinda Dillon in "Slapshot"
  47. Says:
    May 21st, 2009 at 04:46 pm Beverly D'Angelo monumental mammaries in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
  48. Says:
    May 21st, 2009 at 04:49 pm Pamela Anderson in Barb Wire
  49. Says:
    May 22nd, 2009 at 06:46 am this is real bullshit
  50. Says:
    May 22nd, 2009 at 10:27 am mega fox in "jennifer's body"
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