G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra

By Seymour Hersh, Investigative Journalist More...

Don't you hate when you're really revved up to see a movie based off its awesome trailer only to find that the best part of the movie IS the trailer? That's because the studio didn't allow the press to review the movie in advance. They know they have a crappy product and any bad reviews could hurt their opening weekend box office.Nowadays, early buzz is as important to a film as the star whose name appears above the title. A bad review could snowball into bad word of mouth and then Twitter gets a hold of it and the opening weekend is shot. Have a look at the recent releases of Funny People and Bruno. Both were anticipating to stack dollars into the stratosphere but due to early complaints about issues with length and penises (I feel ya) the films underperformed (that's how I roll). More...

Paramount must realize the colossal turkey they have on their hands with G.I. Joe because now they're trying a new marketing approach... targeting dummies. A few weeks ago they directed their efforts on the Jersey Shore , now the LA Times is reporting that the advertising is focusing heavily on mid-America. The film is apparently embedded in the Kid Rock concert tour and advertising on giant screens in the Mall Of America. The message of this campaign being, it is your patriotic duty to see this movie. All right, fine. I love my country so I'll see this movie. Even though the post-traumatic stress will probably leave me a shell of my former self. Do your part and click on these morning links... Sacha Baron Cohen will create a new character. (The Sun)Sam Worthington replaces Tom Cruise in The Tourist. (The Playlist)Patricia Arquette spends a night with The Living Dead. (Dread Central)The Stallone Sequel Spree continues with Cliffhanger. (/Film) In defense of Funny People. (Cinema Blend) More...

$\'G.I. JOE: RISE OF COBRA\' ACTRESS KAROLINA KURKOVA$

Unlike Michael Bay, who hires models for every non-matronly female part in his films, Stephen Somers only hires models to play models in his upcoming G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra. The drop-dead gorgeous Karolina Kurkova will be playing the aptly nicknamed "Cover Girl," a former professional model who decided that runways and eating disorders were boring, and that blowing sh*t up in the army would be much more au courant. A word from Karolina: "Mother Nature made me the way I am, and I should be happy."Most men would high five Mother Nature's palms red for creating Karolina. Check out the photos of Karolina after the jump and turn your palms red! From all the clapping, of course. More...

$NEW \'G.I. JOE\' CLIP HAS THE GRAVITAS OF A SATURDAY MORNING ON NBC, CIRCA 1989$

Channing Tatum in RTÉ.ies Exclusive G.I. Joe- Rise of Cobra C - Watch more Funny Videos A new scene from G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra has appeared over at Coming Soon and it's generous to say that the movie looks like a steaming pile. First up, General Hawk approaches his shirtless soldiers to remind them (and us) that they are the best except for the "comic" relief guy (hint: the one that used to be on "In Living Color"). "You scored in the top half-percent of all people we ever tested." In all fairness, we only tested you two. From there it plays out like a flirtation scene from every Saved By The Bell episode. In this version, Duke is Zack, Rip is Slater, Scarlett is Jessie, and Dustin Diamond is still a poor man's Corey Feldman.These links will not urinate all over your childhood memories... Aida Iveliz Hangs Out At The Hot Tub (Gorillamask)Mike Vick's Prison Haikus (Holytaco)Ryan Gosling Fills Gas Can, Poses For Philanthropic Photo (Filmdrunk)25 Rare (And Awesome) Star Wars Photos (Manofest)Awesome 3D Robot Greeting Cards (Walyou)Ben Affleck Squares Off Against Jon Hamm (Pajiba)7 High Tech Products And Their Cheap Ingredients (Cracked)Madonna Might Have The Scariest Arms In The History Of Arms (Celebjihad)5 Gadgets To Make You Faster (Mademan)Josh Barnett Caught With Roids For Third Time (Cagepotato)Why Olivia Munn Is An Evil Genius (Unrealitymag)How To Buy Your Lady A Vibrator (Asylum)Spilled Beer = Death For Phillies Fans (Bustedcoverage)10 Mike Vick Signs That Should Be On Television This Season (Uncoached)Scoring Chicks At A Bar: Skill Or Simple Math? (Regretfulmorning)An Open Letter To Megan Fox About A Day Without Megan Fox (Bachelorguy)Steroids Or Gambling, Cheating Is Cheating (Moondogsports) More...

$STEPHEN SOMMERS NOT FIRED FROM \'G.I. JOE\' MOVIE$

The interweb was aflurry all morning with rumors that GI Joe: Rise of Cobra director Stephen Sommers had been taken off the movie and locked out of the edit room. The reason? According to some, the film was testing the lowest a film from Paramount has ever tested. And Paramount put out Britney Spears's Crossroads. Well, turns out rumoring is half the battle (G.I. JOOOOOE!!!), because Movieline.com reports - with 100% assurance, mind you - that the whole story is bullsh*t. Read Movieline's investigative report here. I'm a fan of the original Mummy. After that, I can't say I've been in love, infatuated, or even vaguely felt anything like an emotion toward Stephen Sommers's films. In fact, I think I remember my therapist chastising me for "putting up a wall" when he asked me if he should go see Van Helsing opening weekend. So it's not surprising that there were rumblings of Sommers being scrutinized for his approach to filming a beloved '80s property. More...

$NEW \'GI JOE: RISE OF COBRA\' CLIP$

MTV just posted this new clip from Mummy & Van Helsing director Stephen Sommers's G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, opening in the summer wasteland known as August. In the clip, Duke (Fighting's Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Dance Flick's Marlon Wayans) don their Master Chief rip-off suits to give chase to The Baroness (Mysteries of Pittsburgh's Siena Miller) on the rooftops of Paris. We also get a look at Storm Shadow, trading his tradmark white balaclava for an alabaster Sonny Crocket sportcoat. All that was missing was a Jan Hammer keytar riff to herald his entrance. Must... resist... urge... to... embed... Jan... Hammer... GAAAAAH! Too late. Kneel before the Great Synthesizer! More...

$\'G.I. JOE: RESOLUTE\' DEBUTS FRIDAY NIGHT ON ADULT SWIM$

Tomorrow night, Cartoon Network and Adult Swim are debuting "G.I. JOE: RESOLUTE," a hard boiled reenvisioning of the G.I. JOE we know and love (unless you're a He-Man guy like me). The micro-series is directed by Joaquim dos Santos (Justice League Unlimited, Avatar: The Last Airbender), and is written by Warren Ellis, of the Transmetropolitan, Planetary and Global Frequency comic book series (amongst a ton of others). According to Ellis, via his website, "It’s an hour long, broken into ten 5-minute episodes and one 10-minute final episode." The first episode will air Friday 4/17 during Adult Swim, with new episodes running every weekday and the finale airing on April 25th. You can check out the promo for it after the jump, along with every G.I. Joe-themed Robot Chicken sketch ever made. More...

You've already seen how much fun you can have with the old G.I. Joe cartoons, but today we have a video featuring the kick-ass toys I would've killed my parents to get when I was a kid. More...

GI Joe Behind the Scenes: An Excuse to Post My Favorite Videos Ever

As a young lad, GI Joe was one of my favorite things. I think a lot of dudes my age joined the military because they watched this cartoon as a kid. It’s also clear that we’ve all grown up to become people with at least some discretionary income and a little bit of say in the movie business. More...

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra

A HISTORY OF G.I. JOE WAR CRIMES

IF MOVIE POSTERS USED BAD REVIEWS

"G.I. JOE" MARKETS TO THE RED STATES

'G.I. JOE: RISE OF COBRA' ACTRESS KAROLINA KURKOVA

NEW 'G.I. JOE' CLIP HAS THE GRAVITAS OF A SATURDAY MORNING ON NBC, CIRCA 1989

STEPHEN SOMMERS NOT FIRED FROM 'G.I. JOE' MOVIE

NEW 'GI JOE: RISE OF COBRA' CLIP

'G.I. JOE: RESOLUTE' DEBUTS FRIDAY NIGHT ON ADULT SWIM

"The Thing" Done With G.I. Joe Figures

GI Joe Behind the Scenes: An Excuse to Post My Favorite Videos Ever

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