The Expendables

$\'The Expendables\' Posters Are Brilliantly Bad-Ass$

Two posters for Stallone's The Expendables were presented at ShoWest and they've refortified my testicles after the damage they sustained from watching the Eat, Pray, Love trailer. The first shows a chrome skull adorned with gun/knife wings (and bullet poops?). It can only be accurately described as "visual Pantera." The second isn't as cool. It's an Ed Hardyized picture of what Stallone would look like as a back tatt. Sandra Bullock would be wise to lock it away before her husband tries to have sex with it. (Collider) More...

Sylvester Stallone's throwback to gritty, non-CGI action, The Expendables, just premiered its trailer. In it you see ample amounts of gunfire, explosions, waterboarding, and dissing of the Chinese guy. More...

$New Ridiculous Photo from \$

The latest image from Sylvester Stallone's sausage party, The Expendables, shows that even at the age of 63, the Hollywood legend can still kill a militia without breaking a sweat below his nipples. Impressive. In an article over at Empire, Stallone talks a bit about the over-the-top actioner. "It's also a story that isn't super-gigantic; it's almost a believable story." It's almost believable. Which is to say, it is believable up to the point where we see a man of retirement age clinging to the side of an aircraft. Wait. What if The Expendables is actually a live-action version of Up? These morning links will give you damp nipples for sure.... If what they say is true, Rodriguez's Predators will be epic (Latino Review)Karen O.'s Where The Wild Things Are soundtrack is streaming online (Cinema Blend)Columbia picks up supernatural jailbreak film, Supermax (First Showing)Leo gives The Deep Blue Goodbye (/Film)Joe Dante dives into 3D horror (Reuters) More...

This afternoon, Screen Junkies received an email from the man known as "Impeto," asking us if we might help spread his musical gospel to the online film community. We were skeptical at first. Impeto's broken English did not do him any favors in dispelling the thought that his email was part of an elaborate scam to drain the entirety of Screen Junkies' sizeable bank account. But Impeto's passion transcended the need for syntax (or coherence, for that matter). We watched the clip above and... well... we sh*t our pants a bit. We're calling it today, June 2nd, 2009: Impeto is the next great film composer. He may also have usurped Keyboard Cat's throne. If you can fight through the Impeto-induced tears, check out today's Top Links: MacGruber movie explodes into pre-production. (Film Drunk) Melissa Maria Gonzalez is Topless (Gorilla Mask) Review of Killshot with Joe Gordon Levitt (Pajiba) New 'Man in the Box' Episode! New 'Man in the Box' Episode! (YouTube) Are "Yoga Toes" heralding a new age of Porn? (Asylum) Cool Live Blog from E3 (UnrealityMag) Reservoir Dogs and Muppets = Hilarious (Sick Pigs) Alicia Silverstone's Daily Planner... Then and Now (Regretful Morning) Will Ferrell on "Man Vs. Wild" (The Bachelor Guy) Classic Works of Art... Updated (Holy Taco) Hooters Waitress Car Wash Returns (Busted Coverage) Norm McDonald: A Tribute to the Man That is Awesome. Period. (Uncoached) More...

Editor’s Note: Many times on Screenjunkies, we falsely assume the identities of celebrities and write articles. Other times, we make characters up entirely. What you’re about to read is the genuine work of a student currently enrolled in the USC School of Cinema-Television. It is real. It is raw. It is about one young man’s discovery of love for a cinema legend. It didn’t cost us a dime to run. By Spencer Vickers In my frequent search to procrastinate when eight three-page papers are due the next day, I find myself up at odd hours of the night on Youtube, looking for something to blow my mind. Porn would probably be more constructive or fulfilling, but sharing a room with another dude puts a damper on that idea… most of the time, at least. (But you never even know it’s happening, Steven, so just settle down.) More...

$SYLVESTER STALLONE IN DELETED SLIP N\' SLIDE SCENE FROM \'THE EXPENDABLES\'$

If Wham-O financed The Expendables, this would be the movie's tentpole action scene. Check out the real photo at FilmDrunk.The Terriblest Laugh Ever (Manofest)Brazil Was A Cool Movie (Pajiba)This Waitress Shoots A Customer (SickPigs)Rachel Leslie Is Spankin Hot (GorillaMask)Cat Crosses The Line (IAmBored)22 Awesome Ways To Quit Your Job (Cracked)Public Enemies Releases Character Posters (Filmofilia)Newest Drag Me To Hell Clip (DreadCentral)If Advertisements Were Honest (Holytaco)Leggy Acrobatics (BustedCoverage)Marilia Moreno Is HOT (Uncoached)Kids Crappy Drawings (Unreality)Sinatra Is Directing Sinatra Biopic (ThePlaylist)I Wish My Dreams Were Real (TomOatmeal)Epic Mui Thai Scissor Kick (NothingToxic) More...

Sylvester Stallone is a film institution. The muscleman’s legend spans the globe due to the iconic characters he has popularized over the years. And at almost 63 years old, he’s amazingly jacked. Seriously, you could grate Jason Statham on those abs.Here are five movie roles tailor-made for the Silver Screen hero: THE SQUEEZERIn the dangerous world of underground massage the women are beautiful, the men are hard, and the stakes are deadly. Retired assassin Grant Lovejoy went in for what he expected to be a routine rub and tug but what he got was far more draining. Now with a small bomb planted in his urethra, Lovejoy will tear through Chinatown until he exacts vengeance on all of his enemies -- all while ejaculating every seven minutes. Lovejoy always wanted a happy ending in life. Careful what you wish for. More...

$NEW BEHIND THE SCENES FOOTAGE FROM \'THE EXPENDABLES\'$

Some new behind-the-scenes footage from The Expendables popped up on the film's official production blog. It gives us a cool glimpse at Sylvester Stallone as a director. Marvel as he waves a gun around during a scene's rehearsal, while key crew members cringe for fear of having their heads blown off by a (presumably) prop gun. There's some 1st A.D. looking fellow who literally drops to the floor at one point. This reminds me of that great story about Kubrick randomly shooting off a shotgun during the filming of The Shining to keep Shelley Duvall on edge so that it bled into her performance. That's an epic win for Kubrick. But that sort of thing is probably frowned upon by SAG these days. Way to go, unionized labor. *sarcastic celebratory firing of shotgun into the air* Watch the video, which also includes a nice moment in which Stallone refers to an airplane as "sex" incarnate, after the jump. More...

$STALLONE\'S STILL GOT IT: \$

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Sylvester Stallone at sixty-effing-two-years-old. The new photos from the Rio de Janeiro set of Stallone's Expendables have gone live, and we have a few more after the jump, including ones of one ripped senior citizen jumping off the end of a pier. If this isn't a lesson in the benefits of fiber and horse steroids, I don't know what is. More...

The Expendables

'The Expendables' Posters Are Brilliantly Bad-Ass

"The Expendables" Trailer Got Jokes

New Ridiculous Photo from "The Expendables"

IMPETO IS THE NEXT MICHAEL GIACCHINO

STALLONE: THE BADDEST BADASS EVER

SYLVESTER STALLONE IN DELETED SLIP N' SLIDE SCENE FROM 'THE EXPENDABLES'

5 PERFECT MOVIES FOR SYLVESTER STALLONE

NEW BEHIND THE SCENES FOOTAGE FROM 'THE EXPENDABLES'

STALLONE'S STILL GOT IT: "THE EXPENDABLES" SET PICS

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