Last week, when I posted that trailer for the fake Mother Teresa biopic, I did some bitching about how Megan Fox’s unbelievable hotness was really its only redeeming quality. So, in the interest of not sounding like a Negative Nancy all the time, I put together a short list of trailers for fake movies that are actually, you know, good.
Fake movie: Thanksgiving (NSFW)
Where it came from: Grindhouse
I didn’t like Grindhouse at all when I saw it in the theater, so saying Eli Roth’s trailer for a fictional horror movie was the best part isn’t much of a compliment. But after I got home, I found myself looking for the clip on the internet, which is really the highest honor I can bestow upon a movie. It’s ridiculous and well done, and that announcer’s voice gets me every single time. That’s how I say "Thanksgiving" now. It’s wildly inappropriate in some situations, most of which include my grandma, but she doesn’t get it anyway. Not a big Tarantino fan. I was going to use Machete in this spot because it actually is becoming its own movie, but I like Thanksgiving better and I have access to a website, so deal with it.
Fake movie: Rain of Madness
MEMORY LANE – Rain of Madness – Tropic Thunder – Watch more free videos
Where it came from: Tropic Thunder
Apparently there are a few fake trailers at the beginning of Tropic Thunder, one of which has advocacy groups for the mentally challenged all fired up. But this one is a perfect parody of the classic documentary, Hearts of Darkness, which chronicled the total insanity tha went on during the filming of Apocalypse Now. They also made a bunch of shorts, which you can see over at your buddies Break.com.
Fake movie: Conan the Librarian
Where it came from: UHF
I remember seeing this movie when I was a little kid and totally freaking out when Conan cuts the guy’s head in half at the end. Now, of course, I realize that is the least traumatizing thing about watching the Weird Al movie. But as far as parodies go, this one isn’t a terrible one. You have to have respect for a guy who is willing to take one mediocre name pun and take it that far. Plus, I think it’s a lot better than the Gandhi 2 trailer that was also in the movie.
Fake movie: Hamlet
Wher it came from: Last Action Hero
I miss the old Arnold. Sure, Last Action Hero is so bad that it’s mostly unwatchable, but this little segment is a diamond in the pile of dog crap. The voiceover is nailed and the dialog is really funny. I feel like I get more out of watching that one-minute clip than I did reading the whole play back in high school. And by "reading," I mean copying off of the really smart girl that sat next to me.
Fake movie: Asses of Fire 2
Where it came from: South Park
Terrance and Philip have always been one of my favorite parts of South Park and I wish Asses of Fire and its epic sequal could be real movies. Of course, I say that now and the novelty would probably wear off 15 minutes into the first movie, but the fake trailer is still pretty funny. And yeah, it was pretty sweet that they were wearing cowboy hats.
Fake movie: Jay and Seth Versus The Apocalypse
Where’s it’s from: The Internet
This viral video was internet gold last year, but apparently it’s actually going to become a real friggin’ movie now. That’s the aspiration of every fake trailer. Of course, it has Seth Rogan, which makes it a magnet for every studio in the business right now, but I think it looks genuinely funny. Whether that comedy could sustain a full two-hour movie might be a very different story.